Thursday, January 17, 2008

Letter from an Alcoholic

An Open Letter to My Family
I am an alcoholic. I need help.

Don't allow me to lie to you. If you accept my evasions of the truth, you encourage me to lie. The truth may be painful but try to get at it.

Don't let me outsmart you. This would only allow me to avoid responsibility and would make me lose respect for you at the same time.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And, Don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made stick to it.

Don't let me exploit you or take advantage of you. If you do, you become an accomplice to my evasion of responsibility.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, praise, blame, or argue when I'm drunk or sober. Don't pour out my liquor; it may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't allow your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my drinking. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my sickness worse.

Above all don't run away from reality as I do. Alcoholism, my illness gets worse as my drinking continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. find al anon, whose groups exist to help families of alcoholics.

I need help. from a pastor, doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from a recovered alcoholic who found sobriety in AA and from God. I cannot help myself.

I hate myself, but I love you. Please help me. Signed,
Your Alcoholic

*My husband is an Alcoholic and an Addict... in and out of recovery for a few years now. I found this and felt the need to share.*

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I neede to hear this. Thank-you more than words can say.....

Anonymous said...

Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Thank You! It is like reading it the first time each and every time...

Rey said...

It's really tough to be with someone like that but I know from experience that no matter how strong someone's love might be for another, that only the person who is inflicted can "make" a change. All the talking in the world will not make a difference, change comes from within not from others "telling" you what is right or what is wrong.
The best to you and your family!

Anonymous said...

ive read this time and time again....and everytime i read it, it's just as powerful as the first!thank you for sharing.....

Anonymous said...

thank u.....

Anonymous said...

Learning to live life and rebuild a relationship with a dry drunk. One year sober, but a long road ahead. I needed to read this.

Anonymous said...

I have never read this before. My husband's father, now deceased was an alcoholic and he was physically. abusive when he was drunk. Today, my husband because he didn't want to grow up being like his father doesn't drink but he still will talk and will slip back into the times when he was a paperboy and his father stole money from his bag of newspaper money to get drunk and then tell people that my husband was a lazy s.o.b. because he sold his paper route... he'll slip back into times when his father sat on his chest when he was 12 yrs. old as he layed on the floor and beat his face.... it's a terrible disease. His father went into AA and was accepted and rewarded for completing the step program but he never made amends with his kids... never even said he was sorry. I hope your life grows in a positive direction and I hope that the love and support of your family and friends can help carry you through. Thank you for sharing this.

Anonymous said...

i went to my first al anon meeting last night and one of the people there shared a very similar version of this letter. it was so helpful then and thanks for sharing it online.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing. My husband is a recovering alcoholic that runs. He runs like hell from me. I dont understand. I have gone to al anon, my schedule and location make it difficult. I love him. I love him dearly and Im in this forbthe long haul, but I see relapse on the horizon. He is going down that road and I think he knows it too, so he runs away. Heartbreaking.