Is there no happy medium?

Over the summer I have been exploring a few local home schooling groups with vigor and excitement.  Both my son and I are... wait... were excited to immerse ourselves in the home schooling community.  What I've found are groups that are exclusive... almost to the point where they consider themselves to be elite.  Seriously?  Really?  Umm... just relax a bit, will you please.  


We've come across events that I can bring my son to, but I'm not allowed to bring my daughter... is she less of a person... perhaps not as good as the rest?  And to the adults organizing these events, you seem a bit uptight when you provide a list of rules three pages long.  Have you never heard the sayings "Less is more" and "It's not what you say, but how you say it?"  

"Please keep the sandbox sand in the sandbox, the rocks in the rock area, and the mulch in the playset area."

I can see it now... "You got sand the grass, and tracked mulch into the sand box... and why did you bring rocks in here?  I don't care that you're using them to build a rock wall around your sand castle... put them back." 

"Please reserve the preschool toys for the preschoolers."

Because a ten year old will get no enjoyment or enrichment out of a set of blocks, toy truck, baby doll, or puzzle.  I personally still enjoy playing with blocks.

"I am a very protective mother - No drop offs allowed, parents  must be on the grounds for the entire session. Kids must be over 8 years old and must have been home schooled for over 4 months." 

Way to welcome new home schoolers and make new friends!  Not to mention that I'm not about to drop my kid off with a bunch of strangers. 

 "I am a home school mother - Looking for other home schooled  kids for my son to have fun with. Only home school families are  welcome to join. Nothing against traditionally schooled children, because I have one that went all the way through the system. I just feel it is important for home schoolers to have activities that are exclusively with other home schoolers sometime, for so many reasons.
This is a CLUB for our kids, and not just a "drop in  when you get  the urge", activity. I want to get to know the kids  who are playing  and have them get to know each other. I don't  want to have "strange":) families coming in for one month and then  not showing up again. Of course it will happen if the club isn't  for them, but the goal is to make a club for kids, that has a  consistent membership, that comes each month.  That way we know  the kids, and the kids know us, and our expectations for behavior, as well.  Everyone in the club will receive a roster, so that  friendships can be made more easily." 

"Sorry, your daughter will have to go sit in the car... she's a public school kid."  "Where were you last month?  I don't care that your schedule was crazy..."   What about teaching your children to be open minded and welcoming to ALL people?  Enjoying the variety the world has to offer?    Are we even considered a "home school family" seeing how not all of my children are home schooled? 


Now I realize I find myself in the unique position of having one home schooled child and one traditionally schooled (aka public school... seemingly a four letter word within the land of home schooling)... so what?  My son is no better than my daughter, he's just a different child with different needs and wants.  Home schooling isn't some exclusive country club that only the elite can join... it's a choice based on the individual needs of my child!  We'll be home schooling, that's for sure... but we will not be joining any prejudiced home school clubs.  To hell with the elite and exclusive... it tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth.