I am, have been, insanely exhausted lately. You know how tired you get(at least you would if you've ever been pregnant) during your first trimester of a pregnancy... that's how I feel, and NO... I'm not pregnant. As much as I love my kids and would like to have another one... that just wouldn't be cool right now, at all. And I think I'm coming to the realization that I won't have any more kids, ever. Part of me is happy with just the two. They're a handful as it is and we really can not afford to have another(we're barely making ends meet as it is...). But there's always that small part of me that really loved being pregnant(despite how miserable my last pregnancy was) and is just in awe of the whole process of having a child. Kinda bummed that I'll never do that again. But now that I'm done with that random rant... Yea, I'm exhausted!
I've spent most of my free time(what little I have) flickring and craftstering. No surprises there. I've taken some pretty amazing photos lately, if I do say so myself. I joined the 365 Project on flickr. Simply put; I take do a self portrait everyday for a year. I'm really enjoying it. Not only does it challenge me to get a little creative(taking a picture of the same subject over and over again gets boring otherwise) and force me to become comfortable in front of the camera as well as behind it, but it's also a bit of a self discovery project. I'm seeing sides of myself that I really don't put too much thought into. I have a fairly positive and honest self image. Like most; there are parts of me that need some work and then there are parts of me that are pretty fucking rad, and I'm not just speaking about physical parts either. But the beautiful thing about the pictures I've been taking is that I am forced to really look at all these parts(again, not just the physical, there can be a lot of emotion in a photograph too) and think about them. I sometimes even edit them. No I'm not airbrushing out stretch marks, but altering the mood of the photo with color editing and contrast adjustments. I've even take a few photos that have been requested for the "Feeling Sexy" group(who knew that the anti-girl could do that!). So for right now I'm 62 days in and really enjoying it all(and I've stuck with it! I'm famous for starting something and not finishing...). Feel free to check it out; 365 Days.
The new school year has begun... Second grade for the small boy and the little bird is now spending two days a week at the same home daycare that her brother goes to after school. Changes, changes, changes... Hubby is now working second shift so he gets up and sees to the morning bus duties. I'm now working five days a week again; really didn't see any point in me not and we need the money anyway(don't we always?). And, with Marc's shift change, the kids and I really only see him on the weekends =(. It makes things a bit tense, we never really have time to do all the things that need to be done around here, much less time to actually spend enjoying each other's company as a family. And it's only going to get tighter; soccer starts next weekend. Is this what life is supposed to be like? A mad rush from one thing to the next and no matter how much you work, earn, or get done... there's never enough of anything. I guess that's why I really enjoy just being at home. We found the time to sit and play a board game the other night with the small boy. While it was initiated for his benefit, I think it really did all of us some good.
So I hope everyone has a great Labor Day Weekend; even if your idea of great is attending a huge party or hiding under a rock. I think for me right now, I'll vote for the latter of the two...
ps ~ I spell checked this and found NO spelling mistakes!!! It's the little things that make me happy; I rock! =D