Homelife...

Mobile Blogging

2012-01-10T13:22:00.001-05:00

Well, I've finally traded up... I've got my smart phone and I love it! Then, I discovered apps! They weren't kidding when they said "there's an app for that." So here's to blogging on the run... cause I always am (not from the law though, that would be bad).

And a side note: Gummi Bears = Happiness.

Is there no happy medium?

2011-08-14T13:15:00.001-05:00

Over the summer I have been exploring a few local home schooling groups with vigor and excitement. Both my son and I are... wait... were excited to immerse ourselves in the home schooling community. What I've found are groups that are exclusive... almost to the point where they consider themselves to be elite. Seriously? Really? Umm... just relax a bit, will you please.

We've come across events that I can bring my son to, but I'm not allowed to bring my daughter... is she less of a person... perhaps not as good as the rest? And to the adults organizing these events, you seem a bit uptight when you provide a list of rules three pages long. Have you never heard the sayings "Less is more" and "It's not what you say, but how you say it?"

"Please keep the sandbox sand in the sandbox, the rocks in the rock area, and the mulch in the playset area."

I can see it now... "You got sand the grass, and tracked mulch into the sand box... and why did you bring rocks in here? I don't care that you're using them to build a rock wall around your sand castle... put them back."

"Please reserve the preschool toys for the preschoolers."

Because a ten year old will get no enjoyment or enrichment out of a set of blocks, toy truck, baby doll, or puzzle. I personally still enjoy playing with blocks.

"I am a very protective mother - No drop offs allowed, parents must be on the grounds for the entire session. Kids must be over 8 years old and must have been home schooled for over 4 months."

Way to welcome new home schoolers and make new friends! Not to mention that I'm not about to drop my kid off with a bunch of strangers.

"I am a home school mother - Looking for other home schooled kids for my son to have fun with. Only home school families are welcome to join. Nothing against traditionally schooled children, because I have one that went all the way through the system. I just feel it is important for home schoolers to have activities that are exclusively with other home schoolers sometime, for so many reasons.
This is a CLUB for our kids, and not just a "drop in when you get the urge", activity. I want to get to know the kids who are playing and have them get to know each other. I don't want to have "strange":) families coming in for one month and then not showing up again. Of course it will happen if the club isn't for them, but the goal is to make a club for kids, that has a consistent membership, that comes each month. That way we know the kids, and the kids know us, and our expectations for behavior, as well. Everyone in the club will receive a roster, so that friendships can be made more easily."

"Sorry, your daughter will have to go sit in the car... she's a public school kid." "Where were you last month? I don't care that your schedule was crazy..." What about teaching your children to be open minded and welcoming to ALL people? Enjoying the variety the world has to offer? Are we even considered a "home school family" seeing how not all of my children are home schooled?

Now I realize I find myself in the unique position of having one home schooled child and one traditionally schooled (aka public school... seemingly a four letter word within the land of home schooling)... so what? My son is no better than my daughter, he's just a different child with different needs and wants. Home schooling isn't some exclusive country club that only the elite can join... it's a choice based on the individual needs of my child! We'll be home schooling, that's for sure... but we will not be joining any prejudiced home school clubs. To hell with the elite and exclusive... it tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Laundry

2011-07-31T12:29:00.000-05:00

Recently our dryer decided it was too good for our clothes. Seeing how finances are extremely tight right now, we're constantly looking for ways to save money, and being a little more Earth friendly certainly can't hurt... we didn't repair or replace it. Yep, no dryer here! Instead we've been hanging our laundry indoors (fortunate enough to have a large laundry room). Why not outside? Well, my laundry room is on the second floor and I'm all set with hoofing basket after basket up and down the narrow back staircase (wet laundry is heavy!). And... I don't do bugs... at all... no way... no how... Seeing pictures like this:

totally ruined outdoor laundry lines for me. This picture was taken by a friend of mine on Ravelry. She hung her laundry outside only to have a nasty little earwig defile each and ever bit! She ended up scraping the eggs off, but after rewashing everything, some stains remained. No Thank You!

eye rolling shudder

Anyway... so I've been hanging our laundry... yay me. Big deal, I know. But, I've discovered that this actually keeps me honest and more efficient about it all. Maybe it's because it takes longer to do a complete load, or because more work goes into, or simply because I can't do another load until the first one is folded and put away. No more pulling the clothes out of the dryer and dumping them onto the futon... sitting there until we just paw through the pile looking for something to wear. What ever the case may be, it works! And, I kind of enjoy it. Yes the skritchy towels leave a bit to be desired, but it's all in how you look at it. They're not skritchy, they're exfoliating!

Insert the excessively-cheerful-and-encouraging-smile-with-a-double-thumbs-up here.

Besides, we reuse our bath towels (Why not? They were used once to dry a CLEAN body... just hang them on the back of the bathroom door for the next shower... saving even more money!) and the second use finds them much more soft. Our jeans soften up after about twenty minutes of wear. I no longer have to worry about shrinking... well... anything! Yep, there's a positive to everything!

I think my teeth hurt from excessive sweetness...

I also made my first batch of Laundry Detergent. Sooooooo much cheaper than the made for you name brand stuff at the store... and holy crap it works better too! Seriously! Example? Proof? Fine... A few weeks ago the kids and I spent the afternoon tie-dying some T-shirts with Kool-Aid. Seeing how I didn't have a dryer to heat set the dye, I ironed each shirt once it was dry... front and back... and washed them separately with a bit of vinegar before letting them dry again in the sun. They were very cool looking... yep I said were. Behold, the fruits of our labor:

I washed them with the new laundry soap. No bleach, no oxy-clean, just the new soap. Magic Soap? Nope, just four simple ingredients...

1 bar of Dial Basics Hypoallergenic Soap (grated)

1/2 C Arm & Hammer Washing Soda

1/2 C 20 Mule Team Borax

enough water to make 10 quarts

I dissolved/melted the first three ingredients in 2-3 quarts of water in a large pot on the stove over med-high heat. Then I divided that evenly between 10 1 quart mason jars. I topped off each jar with water, leaving a little head room. The mixture will separate so there needs to be room to shake. It will be clumpy and goopy and slimey... a regular science project! After the fact I added a non essential fifth ingredient... a few drops of lemon essential oil. I love the smell of lemons, and truthfully, lemon has a lot of natural cleaning qualities all it own. Viola! The only bit of color left is the bow. Needless to say while I was amazed and thrilled at how well the soap worked, the kids were um... not. Promises of Sharpie Markers and a revisit to the T-shirts made them happy. =)

Hooray for enjoying laundry! Yippee for more efficient laundry! Yee-haw for less expensive laundry!

Going to do laundry now... Happy Sunday!

It hurts...

2011-07-20T19:47:00.000-05:00

I still miss my grandparents... so much... it's an ache that never subsides.

I want another child so badly. My insides feel hollow and I can see their face so clearly... I just can't make it happen on my own.

Betrayal by family, not the family you've invited in but the ones that have always been here, hurt the most.

I'm sick of being so damn emotional, can't I turn it off?

I am not the one that broke the law, stop treating me as such.

You're attack on my children was unwarranted and childish.

Pretending that they've done nothing wrong in the spirit of trying to remain "neutral" only hurts me more, especially when you sit here consoling me and agreeing with me. Stop fucking telling me your sorry! They were wrong and they hurt me, my children, and my husband. If you're going to do what you need to do then don't fault me for doing the same.

I don't know why your opinion of me turned so quickly, or maybe that's how you felt all along, but I do know that you don't deserve me or my children.

I'm tired of being blamed. It's not my fault he got caught. It's not my fault she can't talk to people. It's not my fault he can't seem to learn his lesson. It's not my fault she's lazy and selfish.

I would love to see you walk a mile in my shoes... I doubt you'd be half as successful.

I will not bite my tongue... I'm hurt and angry and they should feel bad.

I am so very sick of crying.

Progress

2011-05-18T20:48:00.001-05:00

All sorts of progress these days!

Progress on the homeschooling front... The Small Boy has completed his first online course with flying colors!!! His final grade for the class was 100%... I don't know who was prouder, him or me. =) It was a great class, gave him the tools he'll need for more online learning next year. We've gone ahead and registered him for fall classes... English, Math, Science, and Social Studies. And, I'm pretty sure I've been able to locate a few good local homeschooling families/support groups. It's all falling into place so nicely, just proves that this is indeed the right path for us.

Progress on the kindergarten front... The Little Bird has begun the registration progress, skipping merrily down the hall without me to check out her future classroom. Seeing her go so happily, willingly, and confidently just reaffirms that I've done something right and she's ready. Hubbs and I have a few reservations... given the combining of schools (see previous posts for details) and budget issues. But, despite all that, this particular school has always left a good impression on me. The administration is good, the teachers are teaching for the right reasons... so she'll go to kindergarten, with Mummy and Daddy watching closely. By then I think we'll have our feet comfortably planted in the land of homeschool, so if it's necessary we'll go that route with her too. In the mean time, she's so excited I think she may explode a little each day until she finally gets to ride the big yellow bus!

Progress on the medical front... after losing our beloved family doctor (very long story and I don't care to get into it... there have been a lot of incredibly judgmental comments thrown about... all I know is I've never, ever seen a doctor so willing to invest herself personally in her patients like she did... we miss her dearly!) we scrambled to find another one in time for med checks and school physical forms. We found an office not far from home that is affiliated with our hospital of choice... but u-g-h! We've been there for three of my son's med checks and seen three different doctors/ARNPs. Prescriptions have been inaccurately written and forgotten altogether. Doctors do not give their patients their undivided attention, and are usually running very late. Hell, one doctor (one that delivers babies mind you) commented on my nephew's "great looking circumcision"... yea, my nephew isn't circumcised. Way to go Doc! So now I'm looking for a new doctor... again.... but this go around I have time on my side. I'll tough it out here while properly looking into a doctor that suits my family. I guess I've been spoiled a bit...

More progress on the medical front... It seems that we may finally have answers regarding most, if not all, of the small boys medical issues. Bacterial Overgrowth In His Stomach Who knew, right? The bacteria in your intestines is good and supposed to be there. But, all good things in moderation... he has so much that it's filling his stomach, which decreases his appetite and blocks absorption and digestion, causing slow growth and poor dental health and maybe even the hypoglycemic episodes/blood sugar issues... FUN! Hooray for answers!!! Solution? Antibiotics... his very first one. =( But if this solves his growth and digestion and sugar issues, it'll be well worth it!!!

And now I think I've prattled on enough... Hubbs is waiting for me for some quiet time. Good night all and happy reading!

Whoo Boy!

2011-03-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

So it seems that the local school district feels the need to reaffirm my decision to homeschool the Small Boy... and maybe even the Little Bird. The school budget is, simply put, one big hot mess... aka a 1.3 - 1.6 million gap (different sources give different numbers). So their solution is to close down one of the five schools in the SAU. Brief explanation of the schools and some background information: PSS: K-2, BRS: 3-4, FMS: 5-8, FHS: 9-12, JBS K-6. Our SAU serves the city I live in and our neighboring town. JBS is for our neighbors... after that they bus their students to our schools. Our SAU has three school boards; one for the entire SAU, one for my city's schools, and one for our neighbor's town school.

Now I'm sure we'd all like to believe that ALL of the administration, teachers, and staff at our local school are there, busting their asses at our local public schools because they: A. love what they do, B. feel passionate about everyone's right to a free and appropriate education, and C. are willing to invest themselves in the future of our children and community Recent events have woken me right the hell up... apparently that was just a dream. Well, maybe I'm being a bit harsh here... I'm sure there are some that do feel that way... I know there are, I've seen them. But it's obvious that someone does not agree. The school board has voted to close BRS, move all the students to PSS, and terminate 25 jobs across the SAU. Seriously people.. there has got to be a better way! And rather than just sit here and complain, I took the time last night to look at the school budgets... see exactly what was being spent where... see if things were as bleak as they appeared to be... was there really no other way? After an hour or so I had a headache, was nauseous, and was officially shocked, awed, and seriously disappointed. In my opinion, there most certainly is another way to solve this problem.

First, why I think merging these two particular schools is a bad idea. PSS currently houses approximately 280 students, next year when they add in all the BRS students, that will bring the count up to almost 450! How is this in the best interest of our children and the teachers that serve them? Crowding classrooms and over working our teachers... there's a great solution! Higher student to teacher ratios will result in: less one on one individualized instruction, more children "slipping through the cracks," teachers that are stressed and worn and aren't able to do their job as well as they should. I mean, this one is just a no brainer here folks.

They also propose cutting the Kindergarten program back to half days, but offering full day only to those students that "need" the extra instruction. This will put a strain on working parents, one that they were not planning on for next year. Time to scramble for childcare, and then scrape up the money for it! Remembering back to my son's Kindergarten days... this is how they did the classes then too and because he was prepared for Kindergarten he was only there for a half day. They somehow got an entire curriculum into that half day, including a daily snack time and "specials" classes (music, art, PE, library, and guidance). I was sad to learn that as a result of this daily cram session there wasn't often time for outdoor play (aka recess). They're Kindergarteners for Pete's Sake! It was the following year that they switched all the classes to full day, and what a difference! =)

I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the idea. Instead, let's now explore the school budget.

Last night while pouring over the SAU budget (this is for the SAU office only, not teachers or principals) I discovered that they intend to increase their Administration Salaries budget by over 100,000! WOW! That pretty fricking nifty! We don't have the funds to operate all our schools or for the salaries paid to those that are "in the trenches" working with our kids, but let's toss a large chunk of change to The Powers That Be. There's a great show of team spirit right there. I've also discovered that just last year the district hired a new Superintendent and Principal for one of the schools, at a higher rate of pay than their predecessors. And, from what I've heard, they proceeded to hand out raises across the district. How could they justify this?

Now I'm all for paying teachers their weight in gold, truly I am. Teaching is one of those professions that in order to be exceptional it's all but necessary to pour yourself, heart and soul, into what you do. Any teacher will tell you tales of paper grading until 2am when they finally fell asleep with their pen still in hand, stories of how they were late to or had to reschedule their personal appointments so they could spend extra time with a child that was in distress (educationally or emotionally), or about an evening spent consoling (and maybe even crying with) a parent struggling with some aspect of their family life. I get it... really I do. But, the fact still remains... teachers do what they do because their students come first. Period. So when I see a situation like this and then I look at the school budgets and find that they're spending a fair amount of those hard to come by dollars on stipends for teachers that are taking charge of extra activities like Yearbook, Math Club, Team Leaders, and Sports Coaches... wouldn't it be worth it to forgo those stipends (they really aren't that much individually, but when you add them all up, it would make a difference). Our high school students are required to have community service hours to graduate (an excellent addition to their curriculum!). What a fantastic example it would be, not just for our students, but also for the community that looks up to them (yes, like it or not, anyone that works in education is a role model for their community), to see our teachers willingly and happily give up those stipends for the good of the students! Even better, let's see those educators... each and every person that is employed in our school district, because whether they are the custodian, grounds keeper, teacher, or administrator, they are an educator... let's see them take a small cut in pay so that so many of their coworkers, dare I say friends, don't end up sacrificing their entire paycheck, permanently. I really want proof from my school district that the education of our kids really does come first. That they are all willing to pull together, support each other, and set the bar so that others will step up too!

What about our neighbor, JBS. Their school is home to less than 100 students (compared to BRS, they have almost 200). Why not close that school, if one must be closed. It would make much more sense to try to blend a smaller group of students across seven grades (not impacting class sizes in a huge way) into the already existing schools here. There are already daily buses coming for the older kids, so that wouldn't be an added expense. I'm sure they have less staff members, making it a little easier to possibly offer them positions here as well.

I've also wondered if the city has taken the time to evaluate what's going on here... and if so, have they scoured their budget to see if they can contribute a bit more? Pretty landscaping and nice new light posts are a great investment... they make our city look and feel better. But should such things come before educating our kids? What about the state? Has anyone explored whether or not we can get more funding from them? Sadly, I know very little about politics (just in case you hadn't figured that one out already)... I haven't the first clue how to explore these avenues.

There are all sorts of rumors flying around town... the football field is getting a new set of lights for the field, despite the school districts financial constraints; the new superintendent that the district spent so much money on has searched, applied for, and is a finalist for a new job in another state, as well as other sneaky practices... I've been racking my brain, trying to make heads or tails of all of it. I will be attending the upcoming meetings, hopefully getting the nerve to speak my opinions (it's soooo much easier here in the comfort of my chair with no visible audience), as well as hear what everyone else has to say. There is no easy solution. But I just want to be sure that we, as a community, have done everything in our power to keep the kids from being the ones that suffer here.

Saturday Quiets

2011-03-19T08:50:00.000-05:00

While it would have been nice to sleep a little longer... I can't complain really. My two are quietly enjoying their Saturday morning, padding around in their feet after having scrounged for breakfast, their cousins still sleeping. I've been sitting here waiting for the headache I woke up with (*narf*) to dissipate, which it is... slowly with the help of my friend Excedrin Migraine. First one I've had in about two weeks. =) In an effort to rid myself of them completely (I've suffered with migraines since I was 10 or so) I've cut caffeine (yes, well aware that the meds I just took have caffeine in them) and artificial sweeteners. Happy to report it seems to be working! This morning's headache could have very well ruined my entire day... but I quashed it, like a bug, rather quickly... it felt good.

Last week I jumped on the "No Shampoo" band wagon... I refuse to use the terms *no-poo* or *poo-free* though... they just sound icky and a tad too trendy. Anyway, I scrubbed my hair with a baking soda rinse (2C of warm water and 2T of baking soda) and then a nice apple cider vinegar rinse (2C warm water and 2T of ACV). Now my hair is uber thick, coarse, dry, long.... when I was using shampoo I could only wash and condition every two to three weeks, anything more than that and would result in breakage. So after my showering-with-kitchen-products experience... my hair was incredibly clean, smelled nice, and very, very, very dry. I gave it a few days, keeping my hair in it's usual pony tail knot at the base of my neck, to let the natural oils take over... five days later it was still very, very, very dry. I caved... put a little EVOO in my palms, rubbed them together and then through my hair. I think I used a little to much, but am still happy with the results. I'll have to continue tweaking my routine.

My poor Small Boy has been L-O-A-D-E-D with homework this week. He arrives home from school around quarter of three and get's right to it with a snack, remaining there until it's either time for dinner or time to leave for Kara-te. Afterward, he returns to his desk, staying there usually until after all the littles head up to bed. So much for just an hour of homework a night... Is it June yet?

Kara-te... we are so thrilled to have found such a wonderful school. Seriously, the Small Boys loves going... truly! It's recommended that the students attend class twice a week; he goes four and would go five or six if I could get him there. PSMA is doing so much for my son... more than just punches, kicks, blocks, strikes. Their curriculum (yep, they have one!) creates better people, not just fighters. Meditation, self control, self awareness, self preservation, helping your community, bettering the world we live in... all that and so much more are taught in a 100% completely positive way. I'm sure I'm botching this completely... I know I could do better. But, the littles are all now awake... the noise level has risen... and my thoughts aren't half as clear as they were when I started. The long and short of it... I am just so very grateful to see my son be a part of such an excellent school. Thank you PSMA!

It's occurred to me that I speak of my son often... my daughter not so much. I'd like to think that is because she is a much simpler creature. Where the Small Boy is having troubles at school, monthly visits with various doctors, and new adventures at every turn; my Little Bird is quietly going about her routine: preschool five days a week - four hours a day, dance once a week, and a bedtime story with Daddy every evening. I looked at the Hubbs one day last week (or maybe the week before) and said "I sincerely hope she holds on to her simplicity." He looked at me, brows scrunched together, "What do you mean by that?" I think maybe he though I was implying something negative... a sort of lack of intelligence perhaps? "Simple isn't stupid... Most everything in the land of Bird is very simple. She's easily pleased, doesn't require lots of explaining or massive amounts of... anything really. It's the little things that make and keep her happy. No complications. These days... that's pretty rare, and in my opinion, quite a gift." Just goes to show that my two children truly are night and day. I am the only thing they have in common. Variety is the spice of life, right?

Will we make it?

2011-02-23T08:32:00.001-05:00

To the end of the school year, that is... Small Boy is not enjoying life in school. He's having migraines on a weekly basis now, sometimes twice a week. Getting him up in the morning is becoming a challenge. He's coming home grouchy, angry, stressed, and unhappy. If I felt even remotely ready to finish off a fifth grade curriculum, I'd pull him now and be done with it. He just hasn't been himself for two or three weeks now. I found out he's been hiding an assignment from me... is this the same kid that loves to learn? I'm just at a loss... I figured I'd sit here and pour myself into my keyboard, but I simply can't find the words... he's miserable and it breaks my heart. I am so not prepared for this...

Stretch Yawn Sigh

2011-02-04T22:16:00.001-05:00

Ho Hum... things are plodding along nicely here in the land of me.

My Little Bird turned five last weekend... five! She continues to make me laugh on a daily basis... full of sass and bounce, always incredibly simple. Sometimes I wish I could keep things so simple.

The Small Boy's next great endeavor is on it's way... he began an online class (just one while he's finishing out this year in public school), also last weekend, and is totally loving every minute of it. We figured it'd be a good way for him to "get his toes in the pool" as far as homeschooling goes. So far, so good! He also began Kara-te classes. We found a great dojo and he and I are thrilled to be there.

Hubbs is also jumping into the pool. Next week he begins GED classes. Every so often I sit back and think of his travels... it's simply amazing - the things he's done. I'm a lucky gal.

I was successful in starting a knitting group! And what a great group of people! They're generous, quirky, tell the best stories, and are exceptionally proficient at making soda come out of my family member's noses. Yarn, baked goods, and snot rocket sodas... what more could a girl want?

I haven't abandoned running... I have, however, developed a winning case of plantar fasciitis... super. I've been resting the foot, wearing my sneakers with orthodic inserts every waking minute of my day everyday (my feet are feeling rather smothered), applying ice when necessary... I hope to return to the treadmill next week or the week after. In the meantime, I took my first yoga class. I've done yoga at home, but there is something to be said about going to a real yoga class. No interruptions, no distractions, no "what are we having for dinner and where is my karate gi/tutu/hammer?"... I was so effing relaxed when I got home... pure bliss. You could have thrown jell-o at me and I simply would have just absorbed it. Wondrous...

We're all still pretty pleased with our new home... for the most part. Mum enjoys having the grand littles around... she had a taste of long distance grandparenthood and this agrees with her so much better. The Quiet One (SIL) and I are still madly in love with the house, constantly dreaming of restoring this and repairing that. We just can't wait to see it reach it's full potential. Biff (my brother) and Hubbs like to gripe about how old the house is... needs a new roof (this Spring), had to remove/replace some wiring (finished last week - Thank you Malley Electric!!!), needs new windows (next Spring?), and lots of other smallish projects. Despite the whining (and it is amusing to see grown men whining, that makes it a bit easier to tolerate) I think I can honestly say that none of us have any regrets. =)

Winter and I just aren't getting along (truthfully, we've never been friends, just polite acquaintances really). I am so incredibly sick of snow. I'm sure Mother Nature is pointing, laughing, and maybe even rolling around on the floor a bit (if so, I hope she pees herself, just a little). I need Spring!!! Warmth, sunshine, grass, rain...

Spring Countdown

Grrrr

2011-01-18T12:27:00.004-05:00

I'm done asking opinions... but before I launch into that, I should probably start at the beginning.

Until this year both The Small Boy and I had been pretty satisfied with public education. He loved going to school, was happy and eager every morning. I felt perfectly confident in the school's ability to educate my child in an appropriate and safe manner. Sadly, both of our opinions have changed since the beginning of this school year.

The academic program leaves a bit to be desired. I've noticed that he's really only putting effort into one class... the others he's just breezing through. He's not being challenged. I asked him about it and he agreed, they're way too easy. I'm not saying I want him pulling his hair out because the material is so hard, but he's told me how he just kind of stares off into space during class and catches up on the material when he does his homework. I want him to be challenged, but not burdened... if that makes any sense.

I'm also not terribly thrilled with their scheduling... it just doesn't make any sense! First, they don't have each of the core subjects every day... the best way to describe it is to just show you...

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
Homeroom ------------------------------------------------>
Math Soc.St. Reading LA Sci.
Allied Arts ------------------------------------------------->
Science Math Soc. St. Reading LA
Lunch ------------------------------------------------------>
LA Sci. Math Soc.St. Reading
Reading LA Sci. Math Soc. St.
Enrichment ------------------------------------------------->

This isn't his actual schedule, but a fairly good representation of it. They have each class four days a week on a rotating schedule. Why? What happened to routine and schedule? Things get really interesting on half days (they happen often) and shortened weeks (think Holidays and the monthly teacher in service days, not to mention snow days). For example, because of two consecutive four day weeks my son has not had a spelling list and his regular reading homework (daily reading log) has been cut in half (the teacher actually issued one five day reading log to be filled in for the two weeks). For two full weeks there has been half of the regular curriculum, most likely due to the fact that while he's in school for four full days each week, he's only getting certain academic classes three times that week. On more than one occasion, my son has told me "It's a short week so we're not doing anything important anyway." Great!

Allied Arts is all the extra (but still important in my book) classes like Music, Art, PE, FACS(the class formerly known as Home Ec), and Tech (formerly Computers). Why doesn't it list this classes each day, you ask. Because they cram an entire year's worth of curriculum in to a few weeks by having the class every day. So far my son has had FACS and Art, and is now in Music. To me, this is a lot like blowing off a class all year long and then cramming before the final. In my opinion, anyone would have a hard time retaining anything in a class scheduled like this.

This year they've really started using computers in the classroom. Wonderful! However, I have yet to see or hear of my son taking a class to teach him how to use the computer and/or type. Ummm... does this strike anyone else as particularly odd?

Communication is very important... my son has five academic teachers. For the most part they're all really good about keeping in touch. But I have had several instances where emails (their preferred method, so they said) were never replied to. I've also had to deal with lost doctors notes and teachers forgetting to give assignments(Small Boy had surgery and missed school for a week straight as well as a few out of town specialists appointments.). My son ended up a week behind and we were getting letters from a truancy officer. Yes, it's not a big deal... but how effing frustrating is that while dealing with the medical issues at hand! I did what I was supposed to do... spoke to all the correct people... sent in all the right notes from all the right doctors... requested all the work he'd miss well in advance. His teacher simply forgot to give him the work on his last day before the surgery... when I emailed her asking about it she litterally typed "oops" in her reply (and it took her four days to reply)! If my son were to misplace or forget something he'd be held accountable and it would reflect in his grades. Ooo I'm getting all irritated about it again...

And this is just the academic side of it. You've seen that I've nick named my kids... Small Boy and Little Bird. My son did not get his name by accident. He is in fact very small for his age. And he's different. He's not your typical rambunctious punk adolescent (and I don't mean that in a negative way, really I don't). He doesn't care what others think, he marches right along to his own tune and I couldn't be prouder. He's sweet, caring, loves to learn, very talkative, a bit on the nerd side (proud Mumma Nerd here!) ... and an easy mark.

He's told me how he's being targeted by one or two kids in particular on a regular basis. Minor stuff... picked on, nasty comments. I reminded him that he should discuss this with his teachers and or principal. I didn't want to intervene and make it worse for him (and for the record, I did ask him if he wanted me to call the school and speak to someone... he said no and I respected that). I did reach my limit a few weeks ago when I received a phone call from the principal. The Small Boy had been waiting in line for lunch when another boy cut in front of him. My son stood up for himself, reminded the other boy that he couldn't do that and stepped around him. The other boy ignored him and moved in front of him again. This went on for a few rounds until the other boy had enough, picked up my child and threw him. Yes... threw him! I kept my cool on the phone... the principal assured me that the other boy didn't realize that my son had just had surgery the week earlier (yea, he had just returned to school) and genuinely felt really bad... Wait... who gives a flying fuck if my son had just had surgery or not... I don't care if he was fit as a fiddle... what gives him the right to touch my son! I still kept the conversation light... I asked what repercussions, if any, there would be for his actions. The principal told me that he wasn't allowed to tell me who the other boy was, much less answer that. I thanked him for his time and quickly ended the conversation before I did or said something that wouldn't have been appropriate.

So here we are... half way through fifth grade. The Small Boy still goes to school... he likes going to learn, he tells me, but he'd rather not deal with the kids. I pick him up everyday (we live too close for a bus and the sidewalks aren't cleared... he'd have to walk in the street... that's a safe option in the middle of winter) and on our way home he'll watch his schoolmates walk home... yelling, swearing, pushing each other into the street in front of oncoming cars (that's happened more than once... good thing my breaks work really well), and he just shakes his head. "Why do they do that, Mum? It's not safe." I don't get it either... He asked me, about two or three weeks ago, if he could homeschool. Considering less than a year ago this kid lived to go to school... he'd be disappointed on snow days and during school vacations... I think my heart broke just a little. We talked about it, I discussed it with the Hubbs, chatted with our family doctor, and brought it up at the last "committee meeting"... He'll finish out the 5th grade (barring any other issues) and then next year we'll begin learning here at home.

Now begins the hard part (yea 'cause everything up until now has been so super easy). I've looked at countless websites, talked to several people that have or still are homeschooling in some form or another. I've looked into buying a pre-made curriculum, designing my own, and everything in between... online charter schools, homeschooling groups, state education sites... you know what I've found out? Everyone has something different to say! I am no closer to a workable program than I was when I started. I'm not looking to produce the next Einstein, Astronaut, Poet Laureate, or President... I don't want to force my (or anyone else's) goals for him onto him. He want's to learn... about it all. The desire is still very much there in him. I just want to give him a good sturdy platform for him to jump off of. I want him to have a well rounded education so that when he does decide what to do with his adult life (Stay at home Dad or Astrophysicist, Goat Herder or Doctor) he'll have the tools he'll need to happily pursue it. So for now, I think I'm done asking everyone's opinion. No two are the same and it's only confusing me more. The Small Boy and I have a long and interesting journey ahead of us...

Not a resolution...

2011-01-04T11:24:00.001-05:00

No, it really isn't... it just seams that way because of the timing. We finally got our home gym (yes, we have a home gym... one of the perks of merging families! Don't be too jealous though, it isn't climate controlled, just indoors.) set up about two or three weeks ago. I started on the treadmill. Just walking for the fun of it. Well, walking is boring. I have many fond memories of running as a child. It was so much fun... so free... and fast. *sigh* I saw a friend of mine had started the C25K program... so I jumped on the band wagon. After the each of the first two runs... well, I figured I could share my thoughts here...

Dear Self,

I realize that you were super excited today to start running. You’ve really prepared well for it; walking regularly for the past three weeks, bought a proper sports bra (one that is tight enough to prevent black eyes yet still allows you to breathe comfortably), actually tied your sneakers instead of just shlepping around in loose shoes, and even managed to score a borrowed hand me down iPod touch and the C25K app to make it all easier and a bit more fun! Fantastic! Great Job, Self! However… this does not excuse you from forgetting to bring a water bottle with you or forgetting to eat breakfast before heading out to the treadmill (Self is spoiled, we have a work out room in our unheated barn… pull up bar, treadmill, bow flex… one of the perks of merging three families into one household)! If this happens again, there will be consequences (like passing out due to dehydration or low blood sugar, perhaps!). Congratulations on your first day!

<3

Me

That was Sunday... today was another story...

Dear Self,

You were a little over exuberant with breakfast this morning… did we learn our lesson? Fortunately for you, this program is completely customizable. While you were able to complete the run, it wasn’t terribly satisfying or even half as enjoyable as W1D1 was. I think maybe repeating W1D2’s run would be best, yes? Hooray for staying positive, pacing yourself, being motivated, and learning from your previous experiences. =)

<3

Me

How much fun is this going to be? With a little luck I'll continue posting little notes here as I continue to run. =)

Bad Parent?

2010-11-12T19:13:00.000-05:00

One of my son's teachers contacted me last week... he noticed that The Small Boy isn't incredibly social like the other boys in his classes. He tends to meander about at recess and isn't terribly eager to interact with the other kids. He is very eager during class though... always raising his hand with the answers... a bit too over eager... it concerned him. On some levels it concerns me too, but just a teeny, tiny, minute bit. He isn't unhappy; he eagerly goes to school every day with a smile on his face and a spring in his step, and is doing very well academically. In addition to being a bit of a loner and nerd (that is not a derogatory word here in our house... I am a very happy and self satisfied nerd) he's always been more cautious than other's his age. It all got me wondering... have I done this to my child? Have I made him, for lack of a better word, an outcast?

I'm sitting in my kitchen looking out the window at the boys that live a few houses over... they're riding their skateboards down the middle of the street, which is a rather steep incline that feeds directly into a very busy street - the main artery of downtown. They aren't wearing helmets or elbow pads or knee pads... Even scarier - the way cars will come flying up the street. Yea... there's no way my kid will be out there, thank you very much.

I've noticed lately that a lot of my son's peers have facebook accounts. To each his own, but that just isn't for me... and I'm not implying that parents who do allow their child to have a facebook account are neglectful or guilty of bad parenting. I just don't feel it's appropriate, I've seen some of the stuff here on facebook... in my opinion it's not appropriate for my 10 year old. I just set him up with his own email account (that I monitor closely) so he can email out of town family and friends. If you want to email my child, you need to be put on "the list" or else it won't go through.

I do not allow first person shooter games... realistic military and war games aren't games at all in my opinion; war is not a game. Mario and Lego games are his favorites. But he's only allowed to play on the weekend... no video games during the school week.

We do not have any form of Television service... but that's only within the last six months (and let me tell you just how excited I was to be rid of it!). Prior to that, I had blocked just about all kids programming from our DirecTV; Nickelodon (Spongebob is not my friend), Disney (Hannah Montana... don't get me started), Cartoon Network (UGH)... the only channel I left available was Noggin (which is now Nick Jr I think). Noggin was advertisement free and educational... for my preschooler. I mainly did that because you didn't see 12 year olds kissing, telling each other they loved each other, or inappropriately dressed on Noggin. We do have a rather wide array of movies that the kids can watch... Disney animated movies, Pixar, Star Wars and the like... and we also have a Netflix account and will let the kids watch various shows streaming live from the Wii or Computer.

With the exception of his iPod Shuffle (and he only uses it on long car or plane rides), The Small Boy doesn't have any personal electronic devices. No cell phone, no Nintendo DS or other hand held gaming device, no texting... I just don't see the need for them really.

There are lots of other little things... no soda (there are one or two exceptions to this one), no wandering about town on his own unless he has a purpose (he walks to and from school), no TV in his bedroom, no internet access without direct supervision, we go over his homework every afternoon... These are all things that are routine in our house, but I've come to realize they aren't the norm. So now I wonder, have I done a huge disservice to my child with all these rules and regulations? While he's happy and thriving, it would seem that my child's obvious differences from his peers are a direct result of my apparent "rigid and strict" parenting style. I've turned him into a pariah... but he doesn't seem to care.

I don't suppose I'll loose a lot of sleep over this, like I've said repeatedly... The Small Boy is happy, healthy, and flourishing. It's just frustrating... you try to do the right thing with your kids and it ends up biting them in the ass, except they don't seem to know the difference. =)

I know I haven't blogged much... it seems every time I go to write or post something, my blog has been spammed... I hate that. I'm being chased away by Levitra Ads... *thumbs up*

PPS

It took me a good three hours to compose this (I also made dinner and tended to a child or four at the same time). The boys playing in the street I mentioned earlier... are still outside in the street... and it's dark out... *shakes head*

JDRF Walk!

2010-09-25T11:54:00.000-05:00

My family and I went to the JDRF Walk this morning. The weather was perfect, the company was great, and it was a huge success! A big thank you to the following for their donations:

1. Cobalt (Rav)
2. lurk42 (Rav)
3. Pook
4. LouieLouie (Rav - two entries)
5. LouieLouie
6. Barbara (two entries)
7. Barbara
8. fiametta (Rav)
9. Shawn4Equality (Rav - two entries)
10. zyrene (rav - two entries)
11. zyrene
12. Patty

I greatly appreciate your help in supporting Andy's Army. I was able to raise $150.00 to put toward our team goal (which I'm not entirely sure how much our team was able to raise... I'll have to update when I get more info.). So without further ado... The handmade custom knit socks go to: fiametta! Yay!

*applause*

I'll contact you via Rav... I wish I could figure out how I took a screen shot last year, you'll just have to take my word for it I guess.

Thank you all again!

New Life

2010-08-18T08:08:00.001-05:00

Holy Cow I'm Tired! This new life of mine is exhausting! When we lived in the old house, with just the four of us, I'd be up all hours of the night... knitting, watching Lost on Netflix (obsession!) or a movie with the Hubbs. Now, I'm falling into bed exhausted by 9! Understandably so, I think... This house is much bigger and therefor requires much more cleaning, not to mention all the unpacking and organizing still going on, and the always growing project list. This house is also much busier, constantly buzzing with activity.

The five littles have all settled in very nicely. Bedtime is still a bit wrinkly, but we're keeping the irons hot. =) I love that my Little Bird always has a playmate. I thought the transition would be particularly difficult for her (she had gotten quite used to being the only princess in the house)...

And that's where I stopped last night... Yep, with my computer in the kitchen (per my rather adamant request and the dismay of the rest of the family... although now that I think about it, some of them don't hesitate to sit down at my desk or even sometimes using my ill placed computer, go figure) I'm finding it really difficult to find some peace and quiet. It's my own fault, the kitchen is the heart of the house. The biggest adjustment for me isn't the workload that comes with a bigger and fuller house and family (cooking and for ten, cleaning a much bigger house) it's the noise level. I'm now realizing how quiet my two kids were when it was just the four of us. And self entertaining. And how well they got along (well, not right now... they're currently arguing about emptying the dishwasher *smirk*). Don't misunderstand, I'm not bitching (OK... maybe just the teeniest, tiniest, smidgen of a whine *pinches finger and thumb together to demonstrate just how little*). I really love the way things have worked out for the most part. My daughter always has someone to play with. My son has a back yard to play in. Both my kids have three other adults to turn to and learn from. I'm now able to run errands and go grocery shopping and leave the house without *gasp* my littles in tow ('cause grocery shopping with Mumma is sooooo much fun!).

So it seems I've traded a bit of piece and quiet (and maybe what's left of my sanity... but who needs that *grin*) for a few much sweeter perks. Here's hoping it stays this way!

PS
The Small Boy and I are participating in the local Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk to support one of our friends. While I've already met my fund raising goal, this is one instance where less is definitely not more! So I'm holding a raffle... for every $10 you donate to my page, I'll enter your name into a drawing for a pair of custom hand knit socks. The link is above, and if you donate please be sure to leave your name and some sort of contact info (email is good) so I can get in touch with you.

Moved!

2010-08-07T18:02:00.000-05:00

Had I mentioned that my family and I were moving? I can't remember... the last month has been a blur. Well, not only have we moved, but we moved into a much bigger house (think H-U-G-E Victorian) with my mother, brother and his family (currently his wife and three little girls, but there will soon be a son added to the mix too). Now, we've all seen the reality TV shows that display the "extraordinary" daily life of such large families... marveling at everyday tasks like laundry, meals, and grocery shopping. But they all have one thing in common, two adults and mass quantities of kids. Having lived with four other adults and five children for a little over a week now, I think they have it easy.
We all bought this house together, so it's new to all of us. And we all own it equally, and pay for it equally too. But tell me, have you ever thought "Gee, it's time to rearrange the living room," or "I think we should paint the kitchen yellow!" Yea, there's none of that going on here. Everything, and I mean everything, right down to the color of the rubbish bins in the kitchen, has to be discussed. I've sarcastically started referring to it as "running it by the committee." And that's just the adults!
There are five, count them - five, kids running around... soon to be six! My two are the oldest, Small Boy is 10 and Little Bird is 4. Then my brother has three girls: Goobie is 3, M&M is 2, and Love Bug will be 1 this month. For the record, these are the kids actual nick names... not just internet aliases, in case you were wondering. And joining us next month will be the Littlest Boy. Six kids... five of them under the age of five! I'm slowly remembering why I spaced my two out... and I'm really appreciative of my Child Care experiences.
My biggest issue is the lack of privacy... there is always someone around... always... even now, as I type... someone is always flitting through the room behind me... oooo wait, they just left! LOL It's my own personal hang up... I find it hard to type or concentrate when there's others around, I'll get used to it.
I know it sounds like I'm whining... and maybe I am a little, but we all did this intentionally and we knew what we were getting ourselves into. We're well aware that the rest of the world thinks we're certifiable, and quite frankly we agree with them. Individually we're each nuttier than a ten pound Christmas fruit cake, put us together and you get... organized chaos? *snicker* We're actually melting together nicely. I've happily taken on the role of Head Chef with the assistance of my SIL, aka the Sous Chef. Together we've started meal planning, menu writing, grocery shopping on a strict budget, and preparing a small feast twice daily (breakfast we usually fend for ourselves). I've also been appointed the Financial Adviser; keeping track of the bills and spending and the like. I don't mind, I did the same before we moved. Although I'll admit it's a bit more nerve wracking with everyone else's financial stability riding on my ability to keep it all in check.
For better or worse, we're all here. So far it's been a little bumpy but overall I think we'll be able to make this not only work for all of us, but we'll be better for it.

=)

Spam...

2010-07-10T12:54:00.001-05:00

It's a good thing I have my comments set to appear AFTER I moderate them... My absence is partially due to the fact that I've been getting daily spam comments for a few weeks now. Yea, who the hell wants to deal with that? STOP IT!

Yes, I said partially. My life has taken a few new turns recently. What kind of turns you ask? Well for starters, we're selling our house and buying a much bigger one here in town. Great, right! Well, here's the catch... my mom, brother, sister-in-law, and their soon to be four children (all under the age of four, mind you) are all moving into said house as well.

Crazy? Yep.
Insane? You betcha!
Nice big yard for my kids to play in? Absolutely!
Built-in babysitters and an endless stream of playmates right at home for my kids? In abundance!

Truth be told, my mom is the one technically buying the house, on paper that is. The goal is for her to be able to retire and my brother's family and mine will cover the bills. It wasn't something we planned... my SIL and I were here perusing the local real estate when this perfect gem of a house found us! Seriously, it's amazing! An old, well kept Victorian right here in town... we (my family) don't even have to change schools, doctors, phone numbers, etc... We'll have seven bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, den, playroom, living room, dining room, detached 2 car garage, barn with parking for 1 car and three other levels for storage and seasonal living space, a nice big yard, and a walk out basement... le sigh.

None of us are entering into this with rose tinted glasses... we realize that there will be days when we all look at each other and wonder "WTF WERE WE THINKING?!?!?!" Especially my mother and I... With that being said, this house is EVERYTHING we've all ever wanted! We'll do what it takes to make it work. It'll be worth it, by far!

And it will all go so much easier if I can get a handle on what ever the hell is going on with me. Hot flashes, bouts of grouchiness and borderline lethargy, weight loss, dizzy spells, low thyroid numbers, and a swollen neck. Stick a fork in me - I'm so done with this Thyroid of mine! Can't I just trade it in for a new one? About two months ago I finally went to see my doctor. It only took a month of just wanting to crawl out of my skin, biting everyone's head off, and not wanting to get out of bed much less do anything productive. After some blood work she put me on a thyroid medication and diagnosed me with a mildly low thyroid. It helped, but I'm still not me. I miss me and want me back. Desperately...

So, in short, I've been out straight with moving prep, illness, and regular life stuff since my last post. Hopefully soon we'll be able to move (just waiting on a closing date) and things will settle.

=/

*end rant*

...

*feels a bit better now*

=)

ps Happy 33rd Birthday to me... Woo!

Life Strikes Again

2010-03-06T13:51:00.000-05:00

Is it March already? Holy crap that was fast! Well, February is the shortest month... *shrug*

I tried a few new recipes this month... and promptly made plans to change them up a bit to suit my needs. *smirk* Did you expect anything less from me?

After seeing these little gems on a food network show (can't remember which one... I watch 'em all!) I just had to try them out. Doughnut Muffins! I was so excited! Gathered my ingredients, followed the instruction carefully... yea... I didn't bother to take a picture... While the flavor was ok (kind of reminiscent of corn bread at first... Hubby said the same so I know it wasn't just me) the muffins themselves fell apart. I greased and floured those pans to death... when it came time to take them out, the tops just fell right off. Next time (and yes, there will definitely be a next time... these were good, just not great. I have plans to make them great!) I'm thinking of adding a bit of vanilla to the dough... and maybe using some brown sugar as well as white sugar... see where that takes the flavor. Now the instructions said to fill those muffin cups up to the top with about 1/2 C of dough. I think I'll cut that, not quite in half, down to a little less than 1/3 C of dough... My doughnut muffins had some huge muffin tops, not like the ones in the picture on the recipe page. I think without the top being so huge, they'll stay together better. They weren't a total wash... I put all the pieces into a ziploc bag and we ate them just the same. Now that I think about it, I'll prolly cut the recipe in half too... it originally makes 2 dozen large muffins. We're only a family of four so we don't need much more than that.

I also made Ina Garten's Pesto the other day for a Spagetti Dinner the Rec Department hosted (yay for supporting local programs!). Super Yum!!! OMG this was soooo stinkin' good! Next time I'll add a little more pepper, and maybe some extra garlic, but that's just a personal preference.

Another reason I haven't blogged here much... we have a new addition to the family! Meet Jack, our Shih Tzu puppy!

Now I've already gotten plenty of "That's not a REAL dog... he's just a barking cat!" or "Put a stick on him and you've got a great dust mop!" Seriously? Jack is P-E-R-F-E-C-T! He's uber cute, very quiet and well behaved, low maintenance, less expensive than a larger breed to purchase and care for, incredibly loving and affectionate (nothing brightens you up at 4:30 in the morning when you're oozing down the stairs to bring your Hubby to work like a small ball of wiggling fur that is just DYING to see you!), and is happy living the quiet life. We don't have a yard for a large dog to run around in... hell we don't even have a large house. So, to all of you that have picked at my puppy, or the breed because you think they aren't real dogs... Bite Me! Grrrr... ;)

And, sadly, I have decided to remove all of the pictures of my children from public view. In the past I've put up their pictures, but not their names. =/ So, if you happen to be flipping back through my blog and find the big white empty picture square... you'll know why. I spent the better part of three hours on flickr changing the permissions on all of my photos that included my children. I went through them, one by one by one by one... I have almost 3,000 photos. It seems that there's a new feature over on flickr called Galleries. You can add any picture you find on flickr to a gallery of your creation, sort of like collecting your favorites all in one place so you can come back to them any time you like. Well, some guy that had absolutely no information on his profile page (and I mean none, no name, age, location, occupation) decided to create a gallery of "Beautiful Boys." All of the pictures included were of very young looking boys with longish hair...it just gave me a bad feeling in my stomach. And, as if that wasn't enough, the same mystery man created another gallery just for pictures of my son. That's it... That's All... I was mad, and still am actually. Why can't I safely show off pictures of the two best things I've done with my quiet little life? I mean, if you're proud of something, you want to show it off... yes? Why do I have to hide my children away from the world? What happened to the way things were when we were kids? The whole thing has just left me with a very sour taste in my mouth...

So... in short; the muffins need a bit of work, the pesto was excellent, I luff my new puppy dearly, and my kids will no longer be a part of the interwebs...

Happy Blogging!

Quick, before I forget!

2010-01-03T10:40:00.000-05:00

For Christmas The Hubbs got me a waffle maker... nothing fancy, just a simple two square jobbie from Walmart. Perfect for our little family (I so do not need all sorts of bells and whistles). =) So I went in search for a waffle recipe. I had some insta-breakfast mix stuff(good for pancakes, biscuits, waffles, etc.) on hand but I wanted something better. After poking about on the interwebs for a bit I didn't find something that just yelled YUM at me... so I came up with my own! And it was soooooooooo good! I meant to snap a picture, but we were so enticed by the aroma... alas, they were gone by the time I thought of it again. Besides, it's the scent that really pulls you in! Here's the recipe:

2 C AP Flour
4 t Baking Powder
1/4 t Salt
2 T Sugar
1 t Cinnamon
1 1/2 C Milk
3 T Vegetable Oil
3 T Apple Sauce (I used my homemade stuff!)
2 t Vanilla Extract
2 Eggs - Seperated

First, sift your dry ingredients together. Then add in the milk, oil, apple sauce, vanilla, and egg yolks. Whisk until smooth. In a separate bowl beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form. Gently fold the egg whites into the rest of the batter. And that's it! Pour the appropriate amount into your waffle maker, cook, and enjoy!

Maybe next time I can have my camera ready before my family decends upon my kitchen...

Enjoy!

Almost a month...

2009-12-20T11:10:00.000-05:00

... but not quite! =) This time of year is just so busy... I don't know how anyone finds a few minutes for themselves. I've been knitting and sewing and baking my brains out! Handmade holiday gifts galore, check out my soon to be updated craft blog for pictures. I'd love to tell you that I'm done... but I still have a quilt to finish and have come to the conclusion that my oh so very understanding family (mainly my Mom, Brother, and Sister-in-Law) will be just as pleased to recieve their gifts in a few weeks when I get them finished. I think I'll get caught up by the end of January and then I'll start all over in February, allowing myself some more time. Maybe a gift a month? Although next year will be a bit different, good different. My family has decided to just spoil the kids... my two (although maybe by then we'll be working on a third? here's hoping...), my sister's one, and my brother's three (but we're all expecting them to multiply... they're like rabbits!). For those of us that are all grown up... it's become more of a chore to shop for each other than anything else really. "What do you want?" "What are you getting 'so&so'?" "Where are we going to the money for all of these gifts?!?!" It's not that we don't enjoy spoiling each other... we do. But... ehh... I don't know how to put it into words really. So, we've come up with a plan for a swap. There are enough of us (7 including spouses and significant others, last I counted) and it makes more sense. Instead of everyone spending the unofficial minimum of $25 or so on a gift card or something similar for each person, we'll draw names and spend $50 on just that one person. One big item, several smaller items... To keep it interesting I'm thinking I'll suggest a no gift card rule. It should be fun... almost like a craft swap!

It seems everything about the holidays is changing. This will be the first year we stay home. It will also be the first year we spend with just the four of us. None of our extended families will be visiting. I can't say that I'm not sad... but I've felt kinda off all day and it's only occurring to me now why... It seems that since my Grandparents died we've all kind of scattered. Not for lack of trying... and I know I shouldn't complain. Like spending the day with just the Hubbs and Littles isn't good enough... it is, they're what keeps me going everyday. Or that our families should feel obligated to spend the day with us... they have lives too. It's just taking some getting used to I guess. Maybe I'll suggest we start something new and different this year... I've been toying with the idea of making a gingerbread house with the kids... we could each make one on Christmas Eve... a small one...

*is having visions of a small village of gingerbread left for Santa to nibble on*

We'll see... A toast!

*raises mug of hot cocoa*

To New Christmas Traditions!

...

and not wallowing in a sea of self pity while moping through the day...

Happy Holidays Everyone!

More Comfort... Tweaked Of Course

2009-11-21T11:20:00.000-05:00

My favorite part of fall is the impulse I get to cook and bake! The thought of baking some bread or putting a pot of stew on the stove to warm up my kitchen is so much more appealing than just turning up the thermostat.

*sigh*

So, one particularly chilly day last week I made Sunday Beef Stew. I followed the recipe exactly, omitting the celery (ick). And it was good... the flavor had a nice zip to it. However, I prefer a beefy beef stew and this recipe has a very strong tomato base. A few days later, shortly before lunch, I stood in front of my open fridge. It's chilly and rainy out... what to make for lunch for the littles and I. I saw the leftover beef stew... sitting in it's plastic container... staring at me... longing to be loved. The wheels started turning. I still had some stew beef left over, and half an onion (I always over buy, but nothing is ever wasted... as you can see). Let's see if I can beef up this stew!

In the bottom of my large stew pot I sauteed the pound of beef in some hot Extra Virgin Olive Oil with half of a White Onion (rough chopped) and about 2T of Minced Garlic. Once browned, I de-glazed the pan with a large splash (very technical terms here) of Red Wine Vinegar. I added some Salt and Pepper, 3 Beef Bullion Cubes, and about 3C of Hot Water. Stirred it for a few, making sure nothing stuck to the bottom of the pan. Once boiling I added 1 can of Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup and about 1C of leftover Beef Gravy (from our Shepard's Pie Dinner, also a few nights ago). Brought it back to a boil and then added the left over Beef Stew. Simmered on low-med heat for about 30 minutes. Lunch was served and yes, please, I'll have another bowl!

Happy Cooking!

Oh The Wonderfulness Of Comfort Food

2009-11-16T12:38:00.000-05:00

There is nothing better than sitting down to a hot hearty meal after a long day... especially if it's chilly out. While the weather here has been unseasonably warm for November (when growing up we always had snow by now and I have yet to break out my winter coat) there have been a few days that needed a big bowl of yummy warmth after the hustle and bustle.

First, I tried out the Chipotle Chocolate Chili recipe over on ourbestbites.com (a new favorite resource for recipes!). Of course, I'm incapable of just following a recipe as it's written. Here are the changes I made:

I only used half a large onion... we're just not huge fans but I understand the flavor is important.
I omitted the red bell pepper... again, not a huge fan.
Substituted 1t of Cayenne Pepper for the Chipotle Sauce... I couldn't find it but still wanted a bit of heat.
Skipped the Unsweetened Chocolate... it scared me.
I added three spoonfuls of my own Apple Honey at the end of the cooking process to sweeten it up.

The result? A wonderfully thick chili that starts off sweet and has a little kick of heat as it goes down... YUM! Next time I think I'll use lean ground beef instead of turkey. The texture of the turkey is just a little odd for me and mine.

And I also made a pan of my mom's Lasagna (with my own tweaks of course) at the end of the week. The secret is to make it in the morning or the night before, stick it in the fridge and then reheat it for dinner. Recipe? Sure...

1 Box of Lasagna Noodles (not the oven ready ones... ICK!) cooked aldente and oiled to prevent sticking.

1 Large Jar (26.5 oz) of your favorite Pasta Sauce

1-2 lbs of Lean Ground Beef, cooked and drained

1 large package of Fresh Sliced Mushrooms

3-4 C of Shredded Italian Blend Cheese (Mozzarella, Parmesan, etc...)

15oz of Ricotta Cheese

1 Egg

2t Cinnamon

1T Italian Seasoning

Salt and Pepper to taste

First, combine the Ricotta, Egg, Cinnamon, Italian Seasoning, Salt and Pepper. Set aside. Get your baking dish and grease the dickens out of it! I have a refillable pump olive oil spray that I love! Works great! Pour a little sauce into the bottom of the dish, just enough to coat the bottom and prevent the noodles from sticking and becoming crispy. Now... we layer! Noodles, 1/2 the Ricotta Mixture, 1/2 the Beef, 1/2 the Mushrooms, 1/2 the Cheese. Pour on half the sauce, letting it sink into the layers below. Repeat the layers once more. Get a large piece of tin foil and spray the matte side (the non shiny side) with no stick cooking spray and cover the lasagna. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for an additional 15 minutes. Allow it to cool and then chill in the fridge. Reheat at your convenience and ENJOY!

I'm thinking next time I make this I'll use some Sausage (Sweet Italian or Garlic and Cheese) instead of the beef.

;)

Rainy Saturday

2009-11-14T10:36:00.001-05:00

Yea... so much for that walk we were going to go on...

*grumble, growl, snort*

However... rainy Saturdays are perfect for baking and cooking! Like this Snowball Cake I made last week...

Sadly... it didn't taste as good as it looked. The cake part was good, the "frosting" was ok although the coconut kinda threw it off, but the filling really left a bit to be desired. =(

Dessert was a bust that week, but breakfast was wonderful!

Butterscotch Muffins! I altered the topping, substituting oatmeal for the pecans... we're nutty enough, let's not add to it. ;) These babies were so stinkin' moist! Nom nom nom nom.

I also made a batch of Chocolate Fudge Butterfinger Cookies... OMG! They are the bestest cookies ever!!! I didn't take any pictures (we ate them too quickly) but here is a bit of cocoa love for you...

And now I'm off to make Lasagna for dinner. Yes, I realize it's only ten in the morning... Lasagna is always better if it's made, chilled, and then reheated. Or at least I think so... And maybe a cake too... Hmmmm... cake... what kind am I feeling like...

Food for thought

2009-11-07T11:50:00.000-05:00

I am quite sick of those that sneer at me upon discovering that my ADHD son is medicated. Comments that include the phrases "quick fix" and "easy way out" really, really, really irritate me (OK, they piss me right he eff off). I mean seriously... do you even know what we went through before we finally and reluctantly chose to try meds? Or what kind of medication he's even on? I mean, damn... talk about judgmental! We tried behavior modification, counseling, diet modification...
There's only so much I can do about his behavior at school from here, and going to school with him is kinda frowned upon. After several failed attempts to get him an IEP, I finally settled on a 504 Plan... academically he could keep up and they won't do an IEP for social and emotional issues (IE self control, attention span, ability to concentrate).
At his first counseling session, the very nice and competent therapist kind of tipped his head to the side while I explained my concerns and why we were there. After about two months, the counselor very politely told me that he felt my son did not require further counseling, but feel free to contact him in the future if I ever felt the need. His opinion of my son was that he was a healthy, happy, average kid... with the attention span of a flea.

Diet modification? OY! We already modify his diet for lactose intolerance and hypoglycemia that is triggered by Gastric Dumping Syndrome; not to mention that he is very small for his age and a tad underweight (has been since birth). So we pack in the complex carbs and fat as often as possible while avoiding simple sugars and loads of dairy products. Now I know that it's not as difficult as say... a type one diabetic's diet, or a gluten free diet... but after a few months reading, studying, and discussing several different diet options for ADHD... I gave up. I was so frustrated and flabbergasted by what to try and who's information to trust.
I went to our family doctor (a fantastic woman, I can not say enough about her) and asked her opinion. We discussed what I had tried since she diagnosed him and what the results were and what would really be the most practical and easiest solution for MY SON (not me, or his teacher... him!) Since then she's worked with us until we found the right medication for him. Maintaining the meds isn't simple either. We go in to visit her every month, sometimes more often, to monitor his behavior, sleeping habits, eating habits, and weight. I also keep in close contact with my son's teacher at school to keep an eye on his grades, attention span, concentration and ability to stay on task, interactions with other students and teachers at the school, eating habits at school...
So, to all of you that look down your nose at me - claiming that I've taken the easy way out - BITE ME! There was nothing easy about this... The most important thing here is that my son is happy, healthy, confident, and successful. If this is what it takes, then I'm happy to do it!

I will not feel guilty for not blogging...

2009-10-31T09:02:00.001-05:00

Nope, I won't. I refuse!

*snicker*

I'm such a dork. Anyway... I think it has finally sunk in for everyone here in The Land of Me that I am staying home. My kids have adjusted beautifully and the transition was very smooth for them.

I figured my son would have a few issues. He had been going to the same home childcare program before and after school since Kindergarten (now in fourth grade) and was quite attached to both the owner (also my former employer before I stopped working, hence the real reason why I chose to stay home) and the kids that went there... or so I thought. Not once has he asked to go back or really mentioned any of them. Nor has he complained about not riding the bus (he actually loves that I pick him up and drop him off! Score two for me!). What I thought would be a big problem - Homework. It was always completed directly after getting off the bus at the childcare home. I would check it after dinner when we got home (somewhere in the rush of the evening, which is now a thing of the past), but that was usually it. I thought for sure it would be a huge fight, mainly because I was told that it was at the childcare home. WRONG! He comes home, sits down with a snack and usually has it done within 20 minutes. Plain and simple. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

My daughter? What a difference! She's more independant and generally a happier child. It used to be that at the end of the day when we got home she was crawling up my nose, trying to get my undivided attention... all while I was in the middle of the evening rush (have I mentioned that I don't miss this blur of cooking, dinner, cleaning, baths, showers, homework, bedtime, quality time, and oh yea, if I can squeeze it in, me time?). It was so stressful for both of us. Now, because she has me all to herself for most of the day it's not such a big deal. And, I feel she's really learning more and more age appropriately here with me. I firmly believe that preschoolers learn best through play, not sitting at a table doing worksheet after worksheet, not being told where to put the paint on the paper and what color to use, and certainly not by having to redo your "work" because it wasn't done "well enough" the first time(again, this is why I quit my job!). We cook together (she loves to cook!), we clean together, we even play with yarn together... and she learns so much from these everyday tasks! I'm sure there are a few of you reading this asking yourself about socialization... never fear - we get plenty of it! Dance class, story time at the library, Mommy and Me at the local theater, spending time with our friends and family... trust me, it's all there!

All of this just reinforces for me that I made the right decision!!!

However, I wish I could say the transition went this well for my husband... Without going into the gory details - we've gone round and round about a few things. What it all boils down to - he's really worried about the financial end of things. But he's slowly seeing that we're keeping our heads above water and relaxing a bit. Overall, he has agreed that this was the right thing to do not only for our kids, but us as well. It's just taking a little getting used to. Proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks, it just takes a bit longer.

Awe...

2009-10-18T10:01:00.001-05:00

I am still in awe of how wonderful it is to stay home.

I no longer feel rushed! I have time to do things like brush my hair and a I'm not having to pick my clothes out of the hamper because I'd forgotten to do a load of wash and had nothing to wear.

I have the energy to do fun things with my kids! Today we're going to a local farm to take part in their Annual Harvest Festival! And we're not racing around trying to get ourselves together in time! I've even remembered my camera!!!

Dinner time is starting to look like dinner time too - we all sit together, it didn't come from the freezer, and there's no hurry to finish.

Weekends aren't buzzing by at light speed any more; a blur of cleaning, sports activities, and something that might resemble "quality family time."

My house is cleaner, my house and I are a little more put together, my kids aren't frazzled from being rushed, I actually recall what the Hubbs looks like without having to stop and think, meals are at a decent hour and are more than quickie frozen put-togethers... who wouldn't feel better about themselves and their family in such surroundings! Why oh why didn't I do this a long time ago?

*sigh*

BLISS!

Morning Bits

2009-10-15T10:48:00.001-05:00

...you know, kinda like Meeting Minutes? Anyway, here's what my morning consisted of...

Apple sauce in the crock pot! Recipe?

8 Large McIntosh Apples

1/2 C Sugar

2 t Cinnamon

1 C Water

Toss it into the crock pot, set it on high and let it go for about four hours. Stir occasionally. I'll be canning later!

Chocolate Chip Apple Cake! This just smells wonderful!!! I can't wait for dessert tonight!!!

And fresh baked bread... best stuff on earth (that's right, Snapple has nothing on me!)

*sigh*

I love staying home!

Amazing Pork Chops!

2009-10-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

I made the most amazing pork chops last night for dinner... and have been itching to get my ass over here to my 'puter and type it up before I forget what I did! So, here goes:

I used:
6 Boneless Pork Chops (1" thick)
Cinnamon
Fresh Ground Black Pepper
Fresh Ground Garlic Sea Salt
Garlic Powder
Butter
Minced Garlic
1 Macintosh Apple - peeled, cored and chopped into large pieces
1 half pint jar of Home Made Apple Pumpkin Butter (recipe to follow)
1/2 C-ish of Apple Cider
1/2 C-ish of Brown Sugar

So, first I rubbed the chops, on both sides with some cinnamon, pepper, salt, and garlic powder. Then I quickly seared each side in a hot pan with the butter and garlic. Now my pans can go directly into a hot oven. If you have the same... once done searing the chops add the apples, apple pumpkin butter, cider, and brown sugar. Quickly stir so they are loosely combined and then toss into a 375 degree oven. If you do not have pans that can go into the oven, put everything into a 9x13 and put that into the oven. Let them cook for 20 - 30 minutes (until the chops are cooked all the way through). After taking the pan out of the oven, remove the chops and put the sauce back on the stove to reduce it down a bit, until it's nice and thick... scoop-able! This only took a few moments. =)

Unfortunately, I did not have my camera... stoopid me left it at my mom's (and I didn't even use it when I brought it there!). But, it was returned to me early this evening... Since then I have been enjoying a nice quiet evening knitting, drinking hot cocoa, and watching Food Network... =D

*yay*

It's a sickness!

2009-10-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

Cleaning, I mean. By ten am this morning I had vacuumed every crevice in my living room, stairs, upstairs hall, and both of the kids bedrooms. It all started last night while I was laying in bed trying to get to sleep. My eyes were puffy, my nose stuffy, and my throat itchy. Now that it's getting colder I've been closing the windows. It didn't take long for it to become apparent that we hadn't really, really cleaned in a while. Like a thorough "Spring Clean" clean. That night I had wondrous dreams of ripping up carpet and replacing it with hardwood or laminate flooring. HA... When I came back to reality this morning (aka woken up by Hubbs so he could get a lift to work) I figured I'd spend the better part of the day cleaning and sneezing. I was surprised by how quickly it went. And I'm sure there are a few of you going... "Well yea, you obviously didn't do a very good job! Hello!?!?" Well yea, I did. I moved all the furniture, every frickin' frackin' piece of it! And that wand on my upright vacuum has never seen so much action! I pulled the sleeper sofa out and cleaned that. Let me just add... I am a bit embarrassed by the state it was in. My only redemption? It's not anymore! I dusted, tossed, wiped... the works! Once the living room was done I just headed up stairs, without even thinking about. Before I knew it I was in Bird's room organizing her closet, and then in Small Boy's room moving his bed! What a feeling!

I came down stairs to take a much needed break... I was back to sneezing and wheezing with all the dust flying. Taking full advantage of my now clean living room, I set out to fold some laundry. And, not wanting it to clutter my nice and neat room, I put it away immediately. That lead to my reorganizing the linen closet... and putting fresh towels into the bathroom... then scrubbing the bathroom... then the downstairs bathroom. I think at this point, my son was a bit worried. "You sound sick, Mumma... you have a sore throat?" I assured him that I was fine, just allergic to dust... "Does that mean your allergic to cleaning?" I left the room giggling...

And now? I'm here blogging... but not before I cleaned up the sidebars on both my blogs...

=D

Small Boy!

2009-10-10T11:27:00.001-05:00

I finally made it to a soccer game! As we were heading out the door this morning my daughter looked at me and said "Momma, I don't want to go to soccer." Now, at first I figured I should encourage her to follow through with what she started. But she was adamant... soccer just isn't for her. So I sighed, a bit disappointed... and then stopped. Why push her into something she's not enjoying? She's three, she tried it... why? Not to mention that for the two of us to go and not have fun at her soccer practice, we're missing my son's games. So I just smiled at her, told her it was OK, and headed out to my son's game.

You know your kids are getting older when their sporting events stop being "cute" and start to be exciting... Here are a few action shots I managed to get before my camera died.

Nice save... he really likes being the Goalie!

Another good save - it went clear across the field!

He doesn't hesitate to get right into the middle of it!

Yea, you like the tape number? This year's shirt was still in the wash (he wanted to wear it to school this week) so we used last year's numberless shirt and a little fabric first aid tape. Thinking on your feet!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been trying my hand at canning...

From left to right we have Apple Honey (tried to make Apple Jelly but wound up with a thick honey-like substance that is a great substitute for Honey in cooking recipes and tea!), Apple Pumpkin Butter, Peach Jam, and Strawberry Jam. YUM!!!

And a final picture... of me, taking a break after some cleaning, cooking, and general SAHM stuff.

It's not a fabulous or "pretty" shot, but I like it just the same.

*sigh*

Life is good.

Yay for being a SAHM!!!

2009-10-07T15:28:00.001-05:00

My house is a bit cleaner!
Dishes aren't piled across my kitchen counter!
I've had time to bake bread on a regular basis; as well as make jam, apple butter, and other goodies!
My holiday knitting is getting caught up!
I've taken my daughter to story time a the library!
We're eating dinner at a decent hour, and actually tasting it (IE, not sucking it down in record time)!

Life is good! Soccer is in full swing for both of my Little's. I have yet to make it to one of my son's games... =( They're always at the same time the Little Bird's practices are. One of our friends has been picking him up and taking him for me... I'm hoping to get there before the game ends one of these Saturdays. Here is the Little Bird at her first soccer practice...

She's still kind of unsure about it and asks me to practice with her... twist my arm! =D She also started dance lessons, and loves it! I made her a little bag to put her shoes and dance clothes in. Wanna see?

Tap isn't her favorite (It's too loud, Momma!), but she's loving the Ballet and Tumbling!

I'm also proud to report that the Small Boy just got his progress report home today... 2 A+'s, 1 A-'s, and 2 B's! Woo Hoo! I just wish he was a little more cooperative when it comes to taking his picture... he always ducks and runs!

Hubby and I celebrated our fourth Anniversary last week... so of course I made a cake!

Thank you to Picky Palate for posting this great recipe!!! A very rich cake with a fantastic frosting!!! You must try it!!!

And now I'll leave you with a picture of my new hair!

BLUE BABY!

Have fun and Enjoy It All!

I QUIT!

2009-09-29T11:04:00.000-05:00

...my job, that is! And I couldn't be happier about it! Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune once the next round of bills comes in, but for now I'm thoroughly enjoying every moment! I had time to clean my kitchen yesterday! I mean, really clean my kitchen and not just tidy up and toss the dishes in the washer... and it's stayed that way for a whole twenty four hours! This morning the Little Bird and I walked down to the public library for story time. We sat and listened to stories (while I knit) and then made a quick project together. And we couldn't leave with out a tote full of books; three Olivia books for her, three SnB Knitting books for me, an Indiana Jones book for the Small Boy, and... a yoga dvd for me (something I've always wanted to try but never had time to do!). Every day I drive the Small boy to and from school, no more dreaded hour long bus rides (over crowded, under supervised... they're a nightmare - besides, we only live five minutes from the school!).

For so long I've stared at other SAHM... jealous and green with envy. I was right... this is fantastic!

We Walked the Walk!

2009-09-26T15:26:00.001-05:00

And what a beautiful day for it! Not hot, but not cold... a perfect beginning of fall day! I was pleasantly surprised to see that the walk took place on a wonderful little trail on the campus of NHTI and not a track. I've done a few other walks for different charitable organizations that take place on a track and I find that walking in circles doesn't do much for me. It was great to hang out with friends and get in some exercise (three miles!).

Now I'm sure some of you are just dying to know who won the Wollmeise... I managed to raise $155.00! That's fifteen entries... some entered twice (with a $20.00 donation) so I put your name on the list twice. Here's a the list; rav names or first names...

1. shawn4equality
2. ladyfirelyght
3. Jos
4. mysteri1229
5. mysteri1229
6. fiametta
7. shawn4equality
8. Melissa
9. Melissa
10. RachelAnderson
11. RachelAnderson
12. TelmahQ
13. Michelle
14. Linda
15. Linda

I went to randomnumbergenerator.org and here's a screen shot of the results:

RachelAnderson from Ravelry is the winner! Congrats! And, if I remember correctly, this will be your first skein of Wollmeise! I'll get in touch with you via Rav... Enjoy!!!

And a big, huge, ginormous THANK YOU to all of you that donated!!! Maybe one day soon they'll find a cure.

Juvinile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk

2009-09-13T16:45:00.002-05:00

Hey blog readers! Here's a chance to do something wonderful and win some nom nom nommy yarn!! On 9/26 (that's only two weeks away!) my kids and I will be walking in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk in Concord, NH. Here's a link to our page with JDRF! From this page you can make a donation, and every little bit is so greatly appreciated! But I did say you could win something, didn't I...

Here it is... a skein of Wollmeise 100% Merino Superwash in Thriller! How? For every $10 donation you make to my team for the JDRF Walk I'll enter your name into a drawing for this very skein of Wollmeise. It's that simple.

If you do decide to donate, Thank You!!! And, please leave a comment here so I can be sure to record everything! After the walk I'll put everyone's name on a numbered list and use The Random Number Generator to choose the winner.

We're supporting Team Shots, for one of my former preschoolers. Here's his Quilt For Life quilt I made for him...

Thanks for reading!

Here's one I'd like to save

2009-09-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

As of late me three (almost four *gulp*) year old daughter has taken to plucking one of my iPod ear budy out of my ear so she can put it in her own and rock out with me. Of course, it's a little too big for her tiny ears so she's content to just hold it there. The other day we were each half listening to Dan Zanes and Natalie Merchant sing a sweet rendition of Loch Lomond (from Catch That Train, great music for kids that won't make an adult's ears bleed!) quietly while everyone else ran about the playground. She looked up at me about three quarters through the song, smiling. "Momma, we're best friends, right?" All I could do was nod and squeeze her tighter into my lap....

Jam!

2009-08-22T17:38:00.002-05:00

For some reason or another, I've decided to try my hand at making jam... lots of it... every flavor I can think of! Well, not every flavor... here are a few of the free recipes I've found online that I want to try.

Apple Pie Jam - This looks wonderful!!! I can just imagine a PB&J made with this!
Cranberry Orange Jelly - Can you say Thanksgiving? Or how about a Roast Pork Dinner!
Mango Jam - I just love all things mango!
Aunt Doris' Peach Jam - Summer in a jar!
Strawberry Jam - A family favorite... I think I'll omit the ginger though.
Cranana Jam - It just sounds different, in a good way!

Thank you to those of you that posted these free recipes! I'll post my progress (if any... goodness knows where life will take me!) as I go.

=D

Can't sleep...

2009-08-03T21:03:00.002-05:00

This always happens when Hubby goes to bed and I stay up...

So now I sit here, staring at the cursor blinking at me...

and my thoughts begin to wander...

finally settling on my Nana. Three years ago tomorrow she...

The pain never goes away, it never even dulls really, you just learn to live with it.

I often wonder... what would I give to have them back (Grampa too). Just what would I sacrifice? I can only think of a few things that wouldn't make it onto that list; my children, husband... hell, my family. Anything else is fair game... my car, my job, my house, my yarn... it's all replaceable... and they are not.

I miss them.

Less is More!

2009-08-02T10:08:00.002-05:00

It recently occurred to me that when I took the teaching job closer to home... my stress level went way down. I all of a sudden have time and energy for so much more! Have you noticed? I'm blogging more! Another example; in the past six weeks I've knit five pairs of socks! Five! It used to take me a month to complete one pair, now I'm cranking through almost a pair a week. Yay for handmade Christmas gits! And, I'm cooking actual meals in the evening, instead of quickie dinners... and the laundry is caught up, the house is a bit neater, and I'm finding I have more time and energy for the fam!

*sigh*

And I can't express how excited I am for my week vacation in two weeks! PAID!!! A whole week... no work, no rec, no trip... just a few appointments and a beach day with the family and a few friends!

*squeee*

Life is good!

Sunday Lazies

2009-07-26T17:59:00.004-05:00

Brownies in the oven, socks on the needles, kids playing quietly, and Hubbs frantically fleeing from the police... haha he's playing a video game on his X-Box.

Very low key day, we were out late last night at the Sheet Theater.

??

Explanation: During the summer one of the local childcare centers (not the one I work for) sponsors family movie nights once a month on the High School lawn. It's great, local families get together to chat and catch up. The kids all run wild across the slowly dampening grasses while waiting for the sun to set, also trading tales of their exciting summer adventures. Then, when darkness has fallen, we all snuggle up in our blankets and sleeping bags with our bags of popcorn and chips waiting... This is how family memories are made... an inexpensive evening, sitting in the grass, watching a movie on a wrinkled sheet hanging from a window. We could have very simply popped the movie in at home... sans magic... I myself, prefer the damp evening, swatting mosquitoes, and magic of the Sheet Theater.

=)

Quiet Evening

2009-07-24T20:23:00.003-05:00

Everyone else is in bed. I'm here quietly listening to my blog music, currently Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, just relaxing... tossing a few thoughts around... Still not pregnant... New job is working out nicely... Knitting projects are in abundance... My baby brother is going to become a father for the third time any day now... Summer is blowing by at record speed... Vacation is coming up and I'll be spending it home... A Mocha Coolatta is the perfect way to end the work week.

*sigh*

Five for Fighting's 100 Years just started... of course that brings thoughts of The Folks.

*wonders vaguely if this ache ever goes away*

Also brings up thoughts of my own life... so quick... especially since I became a mom. But isn't that always how it is ~ time flies when you're having fun.

*grin*

My wedding music... You're So Cool by Hans Zimmer. Still, in my opinion, the best wedding music I've ever encountered. Light, happy, non traditional, cheerful... it builds at the music goes on with quiet lulls in the middle... just like a marriage.

*again, sigh*

*smile*

I could listen to this all day... it's better than my iPod...

*remembers that the iPod is broken*

*scowl*

Almost as if my blog music is answering my thoughts, the song So What by Pink starts up...

*chuckles*

There are times when I wish I could literally record each and everyone of my thoughts... each fleeting whim that passes through my ears. I'm sure there's someone out there that would be amused with my grey matter processes...

*sigh*

g'nite

sigh

2009-07-06T13:03:00.001-05:00

I love that I can come home on my lunch break...

*sigh*

=D

On the eve of my 32nd birthday...

2009-07-04T11:28:00.002-05:00

This birthday's been building for a bit now. Not because I fear getting older, trust me... you couldn't pay me to turn the clocks back! It keeps getting better and better! Anyway, 32... When I was a kid and others asked me "How old is your Mom?" I always answered "32!" For years... I answered "32!" Now... I'm 32! Just kinda grabs me... Here are a few shots of me... the last of my 31st year.

And, a little off topic here... I'm considering combining my two blogs... I barely have time to keep up with one, never mind two.

=D

I found twenty mintues...

2009-06-24T05:39:00.002-05:00

...and was almost thwarted by my rather lack luster computer. It didn't want to cooperate. Anyway, started the new job this week. It was hard leaving my kids, I had been their teacher for fourish years after all. But a change was in order... and I'll admit I'm liking it. Less stress, closer to home, less gas money, more time with the family. What more could a girl ask for? Oh wait, I know! To be pregnant!
This trying business is getting old, nothing like trying to schedule you're sex life... "I know you're not even remotely in the mood and I'm wicked tired, but now's the time... jump on." Seriously?!?! And I really kind of wanted to be pregnant already so I would have said baby in Jan, Feb, or March. Now, we're looking at May if we're successful next month... And clomid? It was rough at first, but... ehh... Part of me (a very very very small part, barely visible even) considered just being happy with the two I have and calling it good, but, and I can't explain why, I really really really want to keep trying.
Other than that... life is quietly plucking along. The kids are growing, the hubby's dealing, and I'm happily along for the ride.

:)

Monthly blog post?

2009-05-09T10:35:00.002-05:00

So, here I am, yet again, wishing I posted more... Oh well...

In an effort to have baby number three we've opted to give Clomid a try... between my age (I'm not quite 32 yet, but my family history isn't the best and no one in my family has ever successfully had a child at this age) and my weight (I'm not ginormous or anything, but I'm definitely on the round side of things) I figured I could use a little help. OY! I have been a mess all week! Crying, cramps... I suppose it could be a lot worse, and it's not like there hasn't been a bit of "to do" this week.

After four years, I've given my notice at work. Now I'm sure you're all saying, "Four years? That's not a lot of time..." And yes, it isn't. But when dealing with children, it's almost a lifetime... When I first started working there, I was the infant teacher as well as the director. Now, I'm still the director, but I've moved into the preschool room, and so have all the infants that started with me four years ago. I've been with some of these kids since birth, literally... I remember their mom's being pregnant! To say that I've gotten a little attached is an understatement. I'm often having to clarify if "my kids" are the biological ones or the 9-5 ones. It makes all the sense in the world for me to take the new job (for clarification, I wasn't looking for a new job, it was offered to me). I'll be working with my kids(the biological ones, at the home daycare they go to), closer to home. I won't have to wake my kids up a 5am anymore. I'll be there to put my son on the bus and get him off the bus in the afternoon. I'll end up saving close to $100 every month on gas. I get along with my new boss really well; I consider her a friend actually. My new boss is incredibly organized and professional, I will learn so much from her! But all this isn't going to make the next five weeks any easier (I gave my current boss six weeks notice). The I've told all the parents, but not the kids yet. Telling them will be really tough... their parents were hard enough. They were all very understanding. I was surprised by the reactions though... crying, very sad, disappointed... While I'm very flattered, it made me almost second guess my decision. But, like they've all said, I have do to what is best for my family (the biological one that is). Maybe that's what is making this so hard, I consider them to be part of my family... and I'm sure the hormonal rage I'm in isn't helping the situation either.

Neither is the situation down in Mass... The sale date is looming closer and closer. And it's like they're dying all over again. To make matters worse, I have pretty much cut off my cousin. She was once my best friend, now I don't know who the hell she is. We used to talk on the phone every day, every fucking day! Then, she found herself a man... the phone calls started getting shorter, then I was always leaving messages... it would take a few days for them to be returned, then not at all... as time went on, if I happened to catch her at home I was made to feel as if I were intruding. Ever since her two kids were little I have been to just about every important event possible. Every year I would go to hockey games and tournaments, dance recitals, graduations, birthdays, religious ceremonies (confirmation and such, they're Catholic... I'm not). Well, I have invited her (and her SO, her kids, his kids... the entire entourage, happily invite them, mind you) to baseball games, soccer games, basketball games, beach trips... not one... She's always too busy with the new man's family, or school, or tired... maybe I'm just being petty, but it hurts. I think back to when I started dating the Hubbs... and I've asked other close family members, just to make sure I wasn't remembering things a little differently... Did I push my family away in favor of the new guy? Was he all of a sudden the center of my universe and every one else failed to exist? Did I forget all of those people who had been there for me, supported me, loved me, and held my hand through some of the hardest times of my life? I keep getting the same answer... no, I didn't... and yes, she did. And now, the straw that broke the camel's back? I have never seen someone so eager to forget where they came from... eager to forget those who helped... eager to just forget the life they've lived. She has had more than her fair share of lemons in life... but she also has so much to be thankful for. But instead she focuses on the bad and continues to envy the perfect lives of her friends... I'm not religious, but last I checked... Envy was one of the seven deadly sins. For a Catholic... I wonder what that means for her... I wonder if she even realizes she's doing it? Casting out her family and friends and past to have the life she has always envied. I really do hope it's worth it to her. From where I sit, it doesn't matter where you are or what you're surrounded by... you're still the same person, from the same place, with the same fucked up, craptastic life... Pretending won't make it go away. Ignore it all you want, it'll still be there... and it will come back to haunt you... I'm sure of it.

Increasingly Busy

2009-04-05T08:17:00.002-05:00

I can't tell you how many times I've thought... I should go home and put this in my blog. But, with baseball season starting, the end of the school year approaching, things happening in MA, trying to spawn again, and now throwing the EX (not Husband, I've only been married once, the Hubbs, I'm referring to my son's Biological Father) into the mix... been a bit busy

Baseball? Spring is here!!! Wooo!!!! My son looks forward to baseball season every year! He's totally exctied! This year he's playing on a Minors Team (been bumped up a notch), with his favorite coach. He discovered that the team uniforms will be blue... care to guess what the next hair color will be? =)

School year? Things are winding down for summer... Thank Goodness!!!! I am so ready for some sun, warmth, and a bit of relaxation. So are my kids (biological ones and students).

MA? My cousin and mother are selling the house (my mother's half belonged to my Grandparents). I think it's safe to say the only one pleased about it is my cousin, but what are we going to do... I think my mom is silly for letting her force her into selling (and I've told her this several times, to each her own) but she's the one there, not me. Everything south has turned into a big sticky mess... and not all of it has to do with the house. For me, the house was the straw that broke the camel's back... it's been building and building for a while now and I've just decided to remove myself from the whole equation as much as possible. It hurts too much and I'm not into torturing myself.

Spawning? Not yet... but soon hopefully! Finally convinced the Hubbs to give it a shot. We were almost successful last month, had a positive pregnancy test result and everything... but it was short lived. I can't say I'm not disappointed but I am thankful that it happened now and not a month or two from now. It's not the first time it's happened to me, just hopefully the last. If at first you don't succeed.... try try again right? Nothing like turing your sex life into a science experiment... charts, timing... forget about wether or not you're "in the mood"... Wish us luck!

The EX? A month or two back my son (now 9 yo) started questioning me about his biological father... whom is in prision. To make a long story short, I sent him a letter to discuss the possiblilities of be bringing the Small Boy to visit. I'm sure some of you are just horrified at the thought of bringing a little boy into a prision to visit his father for the first time (not really, but he doesn't remember those visits from infant and toddler-hood). Well, I'm right there with you! But, I'm also right here, watching my son struggle with this. It's really eating at him. It's only natural for him to be curious and I can give him all the answers in the world, they are not going to be enough for him. He needs this. I'd rather tell him that he's long gone, never to return... but I'm not in the habit of lying to my kids. So after a few letters back and forth I'm making the 2 hour drive (one way) to visit him myself, alone. I need to set a few ground rules first. Fortuately for me, I have that luxury... I have full physical and legal custody of my son. And there's a lot my EX doesn't know about him. It's been well over five years since we've spoken. So... wish me luck again please...

Neglect...

2009-03-01T09:40:00.002-05:00

I'm sad... I've been a neglectful blogger. I can't tell you how many times I'll find myself thinking "Oooo I can't wait to blog this!" But my busy life keeps me from actually following through. Who am I kidding, I'm having trouble keeping up with my 365 and that only takes a few minutes! I wish I had more time for it. I was looking through my first 365 (you know, the one I didn't finish) and some of them are fairly good, at least I think so... Here are a few of my faves:

My current 365 is turning out to be more rushed... more quickie shots and less real "me" shots, although there have been a few good ones. I don't know how I'll find more time for it... things have been going really well lately. So well that Hubby and I have decided to try for another little... We're crazy, I know... me especially... but I love... l-o-v-e... being a mom. If I could somehow manage to have a dozen, children I would! But for now I'll settle for one more. I must be outta my mind! I'm going to be 32! My oldest just turned nine! I didn't save anything after my daughter because I was sure I was done... silly me...

Speaking of my oldest... my son... *sigh* The time has come for him to ask about his biological father. Wheeeee! So, to make a long story short, I've been corresponding with him (Small Boy's biological father and I were never married; we separated when I was pregnant and shortly after Small Boy was born he took off) via snail mail, discussing a meeting between them. It kills me to do it, but for my son's sake I'm even being nice. There have only been a few letters and I'm sure there will be a meeting between myself and my ex first. There's a lot he needs to be filled in on and I need to set a few ground rules. Part of me wishes he had not responded at all... but that won't help my son. He needs to be able to ask him questions and he deserves answers. I genuinely hope Small Boy isn't dissapointed...

Tax Season!

2009-02-04T19:29:00.002-05:00

Next to birthday's and holidays... this is my favorite time of year... it's like Christmas: Part Two! The one time of year when we get to catch up, feel financially secure(even if temporarily), and maybe even make a frivolous purchase or two...

Lucky for my children, their birthday's follow tax season. We took the Little Bird to Build a Bear for her third birthday. She bee lined for Hello Kitty, a little bewildered as to why she was so floppy and naked. Once I explained and pointed out several things... well, we were done in ten minutes and Bird hasn't put her down since...

The Small Boy's birthday is fast approaching... he's been begging for a sleep over party for weeks now... I'm hesitant simply because his birthday is right in the middle of February vacation and I don't want him to be disappointed if only a few show up. Maybe I'll try to talk him into a special outing with a friend or two...

I don't know about the rest of you New Englanders out there... but I am so ready for winter to be over!!! Snow, cold, ice, and general winter misery... UGH! I need spring! Green! Warmth! We went shopping this past weekend(yay tax season) for some much needed clothes and household items(sheets and such) and everywhere we went had wonderful spring displays... Good-bye Winter... Hello flip flops!!!

I'm still plucking along with my 365, although I'm being a bit less... trying to find the right word here... picky? Every picture doesn't need to be a masterpiece! There are days when all I can muster is a craptastic shot of my hand holding a ball of yarn. What can I say... I work full time, have two kids(very active kids!), a husband... the rest of my family... If you don't like my pictures... don't look... =) It's for me.. not you...

That second one is me, flipping off the space where my new microwave should be... Effing Lowes appliance guy... had to return it and will try to find another one that will fit. Meanwhile, my kitchen is in shambles.

G'nite... I'm off to knit...

It's been a while...

2009-01-17T10:21:00.002-05:00

Bad me... been neglecting the blog. Who doesn't every once in a while... Here's a few random rambles for you:

We've recovered nicely from the holidays, only to prepare for the onslaught of birthday season. It starts with my daughter (her 3rd!) at the end of January and ends with my sister's daughter in the middle of April (her seventh). In between we'll have my son (old man of the bunch at *gulp* nine!) and my brother's two girls (turning one and two... yes they are certified crazy). Last year we had one big party for all five kids... rented a hall and invited everyone we could think of. It was a lot of fun, but now my brother and his brood are living in Texas... Kinda puts a damper on things... Oh well.
I'm hoping for nice quiet birthdays this year. We'll take the Little Bird to Build A Bear and then out to dinner at her choice of restaurant (anywhere with Ice Cream). The Small Boy has requested a sleep over party with five of his friends... *wonders when he'll start to be annoyed by my calling him "Small Boy"*
Still knitting and sewing... although not as often as I'd like. I've been neglecting my craft blog too, but hope to update that this evening while visiting my mom... if I can manage her Mac...
I've started another 365. With a little luck and determination I'll actually finish this one! I'll leave you with a few shots from it...

Thanks for reading!

Yummy!

2008-12-21T17:50:00.002-05:00

Just a quick share... Yummy recipes!

Peanut Butter and Jelly Thumbprints! Instead of making sandwich cookies like the recipe called for... I made these babies... Hubby immediately requested a second batch. And the really nice thing? I made the dough, put it in the fridge to chill, and forgot about it for two days... They were still excellent!

Derby Day Chocolate Mint Thins! My favorite holiday cookie!

And here's a progress shot... they're not done yet.

Cake Balls! I was thinking that the red velvet cake would make a very pretty Christmas Cookie... I'm thinking more Halloween now... =)

Happy Baking All!

Mistake?

2008-12-13T13:40:00.004-05:00

So... I think I may have made a mistake... I just sent my mom an email. But I suppose I should start at the beginning. I have always spent the holidays with my family at my grandparents house. It wasn't until I was married that I spent a Christmas somewhere else; at my in-laws and it was the quickest holiday ever... arrived Christmas Eve and was on my way to my families house by 9 or 10 am. Things have been a bit choppy since they died in 2006. We gathered there last year but, through no fault of anyone there, it was a far cry from what it used to be. Maybe it was because we all knew that the house would be sold(it's being put on the market in January). This year we decided to stay home and have everyone come here. Sounded good at first... Everyone that usually gathered at my grandparents house is not coming. Not getting into that one right now... My mom told me that she'd be here for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. A week or so before Thanksgiving she called to tell me that she wouldn't be there because she was going to Texas with my brother instead... Today she stopped in to visit and told me that she's going to my sister's on Christmas. WTF! Have I done something? When she told me I just brushed it off and told her that was ok. But after she left I sent her an email...

I changed my mind... I am kinda upset. This is twice now that you've told me you're going to be here for a holiday and have blown me off for something better that has come along. Twice I've told my family that you'd be here and twice I've had to tell them that you changed your mind. But, what good is stomping my feet and whining about it going to do... if you'd rather be somewhere else... So, do whatever and let me know when you'll be here. But yea, it hurts a little.

I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not... we'll see.

ETA... Later the same night... Yes, it was a mistake. I should have just kept my mouth shut...

The Holiday's are changing....

2008-11-30T18:33:00.003-05:00

We survived hosting our very first Thanksgiving! I cooked, with the help of Cheese (my sister... long story), way too much food. But none of it will go to waste, I love leftovers! It was a nice, relatively quiet evening. Just me, the Hubby, my two littles, Cheese and Baby Swiss (my niece), and my Father-in-Law. Plenty of good natured teasing and poking fun to go around. All the usual food... It really was a good evening and I'm hoping to do it again next year... maybe a bit more organized. But, there's no question about it... it wasn't the same. It left a different sort of taste in my mouth. Not bad, just different. Will the holiday's ever be the same? I'm wondering if they ever felt this, but put on a happy face so the rest of us wouldn't notice. I must have gone for the phone at least half a dozen times to call and ask for advice about cooking this or preparing that. Does that urge ever end? Somethings missing... will that void ever fade, or be filled? Or will I have to pretend for the rest of my life...

2008-11-16T08:43:00.002-05:00

My Grampa was a very smart man... despite not making it out of jr high. He always said that the best friend you could have was "...a buck in the bank." But he also knew that we can survive without friends.... we're nothing without our family.

In a better mood...

2008-11-09T09:09:00.003-05:00

Yes, I ranted and raved and had myself a tantrum last time I was here... It's all good, we all do it, right?!?! I actually felt a bit better once I posted that. Right now things are good... It's a slow paced Sunday morning. Hubby's at work, the kids are snacking on leftovers for breakfast(their choice, I offered to cook eggs, bake muffins, etc... but they wanted last nights left over thick cut french bread with butter and jam. Go figure.) and enjoying a bit of TV. PBS is wonderful! And they only children's programming that I haven't blocked. I can't stand Cartoon Network, not fond of Nickelodeon, and even Disney has left a sour taste in my mouth. Am I a persnickety, overbearing, sheltering mom... no, I don't think so. I'm just not a big fan of TV. We have one television (yep only one... An ancient console TV and it's in the family room... There are no TVs in bedrooms here! I would prefer it if we had a den and could stick it there but....) and they're bound to want to use it. I'd rather my little's watch things like Curious George and Clifford than Sponge Bob and High School Musical. At any rate... it's a nice quiet morning and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I think I'll go knit my niece's Christmas gift or work on my kids Christmas quilts.

Hope your Sunday is as enjoyable as mine!

Warning, Warning

2008-11-01T04:24:00.001-05:00

Therapy Session Ahead

So after laying in bed for over an hour, not being able to sleep, and getting myself so worked up that I'm having trouble breathing, I decided to make a list...

I'm angry.
I'm angry because you used to be my best friend.
I'm angry because you can't make a commitment.
I'm angry because you are irresponsible.
I'm angry because you are selling my home.
I'm angry because you died and I miss you so much.
I'm angry because you're an alcoholic.
I'm angry because you've replaced me.
I'm angry because I can't sleep.
I'm angry because I missed the last five years of your life, and I am so sorry.
I'm angry because you took off and left us to clean up your mess... and expect us to be OK with that.
I'm angry because my priorities are different from yours and that is very frustrating.
I'm angry because you took my Grandparents.
I'm angry because you are selfish.
I'm angry because you are constantly fighting, and it's killing me.
I'm angry because I feel you have pushed me aside.
I'm angry because I give and you take... I want to take too.
I'm angry because I miss you.
I'm angry because I want more children, but you won't support me in that.
I'm angry because I should be satisfied with what I have, but I'm not.
I'm angry because you broke your promise; several of them.
I'm angry because I'm financially a mess, but I'm working on it.
I'm angry because you think it's OK to treat me like this - you know I'll always be there for you.
I'm angry because I'm so angry.
I'm angry because every so often I crack under the pressure and take it out on whoever is nearest; sometimes that is my children and that sucks... a whole lot.
I'm angry because I know you're better than that, but you don't.
I'm angry because out of 365 days, I expect to see my family on two of them, no questions asked... put everything aside and spend an evening with me and mine. Have dinner, gorge on desserts, play games, and catch up... This year, not one of you will be here. That hurts, a lot.
I'm angry because you move my stuff around; it's my stuff - leave it alone.
I'm angry because you expect me to work like you do and I'm not you.
I'm angry because I really ought to be grateful... I have a lot to be thankful for.
I'm angry because I'm not as strong or as tough as you think I am, but I think I'm OK with that too.
I'm angry because I wish you cared like I do.
I'm angry because you changed things without asking how I felt about it.
I'm angry because my kids don't have a yard to play in; they deserve a yard.

Now I'm sure that a few of you will stumble across this, read it, gasp, get pissed off, maybe even send an email out with a link in it saying "Look what she said about you!" Go for it. If you see something that ticks you off or bothers you, knock yourself out. I can't guarantee that if you confront me I'll want or be able to talk about it right at that moment. This is not my way of letting you know about it. Carrying all this inside is torture... I need to let it out. This is about me, not you. I'm not looking for you to solve my problems, just a little release.
And, this list is not directed at one specific person. Hell, a few items aren't directed at a person at all and some are directed at several people. Some are a matter of interpretation. Some are obvious, others are vague. Some are justified and some are selfish. But I also feel I am entitled to be selfish every once in a while. Aren't we all? At any rate... I am angry, and right now it sucks.

Adventures during our Saturday morning chores...

2008-10-25T08:30:00.003-05:00

I think I may be just a little bit evil...

The Little Bird keeps crawling into the dryer and I'm afraid she'll either hurt herself or get stuck in there...

So after repeatedly telling her to get out and only getting this in response...

I closed the door on her(Only for a mere count of two, I'm not cruel!). My "a-little-more-evil-than-I" son instantly turned to me and with a smirk said... "Turn it on?"

She began to scream, I scowled at him for suggesting such a thing(with a smirk across my own face) and opened the door. She promptly climbed out and hasn't gone near the dryer since...

Happy Saturday Everyone!

A little magic...

2008-10-12T18:51:00.003-05:00

Today both of my kids discovered a bit of magic... The morning started out a bit chaotic, Hubby was off to work and the Small Boy and I rushed about the house in a small frenzy cleaning and doing chores so we could get tot the good stuff. Thankfully, it wasn't long until the craziness melted into a quiet afternoon (I was beginning to think they had become extinct). As the dishwasher hummed and the chilly autumn air filled the upstairs (felt the urge to air out one last time before it gets really cold and we turn on the heat) we all settled in. I scurried off to the kitchen where my fabric was waiting for me...

See my craft blog for the outcome of that... =) The Small Boy kinda hovered for a bit, staying far enough back to stay out from underfoot, but close enough to make me feel like I am under a microscope. After offering up a few activities he settled on this:

I was so psyched! My Nana started purchasing the series for him when they first came out. I, of course, read them all as she gave them to me. They've been sitting on the shelf in my living room for a while now, just waiting for him. I'll be honest, reading is not one of his favorite activities, but every so often he reaches for a book all on his own (we do at least 20 minutes of reading every day, either together or him on his own). He read for an hour, perched on my childhood toy box... it was so cool!

And where was the Little Bird? Watching The Little Mermaid... for the very first time.

TV is not a large part of life here, hence the older than dirt console set. I personally can't stand it. We have a dish for the Hubby. And the extensive DVD collection you see in the background is his as well. But today I figured a treat was in order. And while I'm not a huge fan of "the box" I remember the magic I felt as a child watching Ariel walk and dance on her new legs... not to mention the music! I would listen to the soundtrack over and over for hours! She seemed to feel the same...

Pure bliss.... *sigh*

I am going to regret this later...

2008-10-11T05:29:00.002-05:00

I just love getting an early start. I don't do it often due to the exhaustion it can lead to, but getting up before everyone else is my idea of a perfect morning. Now, we're pretty early risers to begin with... today I was up at 4:15am. Granted, the Hubby was up with me, but he had to be to work at 5am so I had the house to myself after. I putter around a bit... tidied up the kitchen, gathered today's outfits for the littles, hung out at Rav - organizing and updating my stash and projects... I even flickred for a bit; visiting the photo streams of a few friends and uploaded a quickie selfie...

Now, it's 6:30am. The kids are up and fed. We'll be working on getting dressed soon. But I figured, before the peace of the morning was gone, I'd record it here...

Good Morning All!

Day in the life?

2008-10-04T11:39:00.005-05:00

I was recently talking to a Mom that feels she can't keep up with it all... Unlike mysef, she doesn't work out side of the home but, like me, has two kids. The conversation made me think of my own home and family... do we "keep up?"

All week long we're going. I work full time as a preschool teacher and center director; out the door at 6:15 am, not returning until 5:30 pm. I love my job, but sadly it keeps me from my kids, hubby, and house. Because we are such early risers (I'm out of bed by 5:00 am and my kids by 5:30.) there is a strictly enforced bed time of 7:00 and 7:30. I essentially have an hour and a half - two hours to complete: dinner, baths(although the Small Boy showers in the am), homework(just the Small Boy), reading(20 minutes a night), and "quality time" with my kids. And let's not forget the housework that must be done before I'm too tired: dishes, laundry, general cleaning... Oh and some quality time with my Hubby and some much deserved "me time." Um yea... I manage to prepare a decent meal(no tv dinners here!!! ick!!! We do enjoy ordering out, once in a blue moon.) every night, usually cleaning up the previous night's dishes(I love my dishwasher!) as I go. All the while the Small Boy is sitting at the table either finishing up the homework that didn't get done at daycare(my children attend a local daycare, I work out of town) or reading. I can usually get Hubby to bathe the Little Bird while I'm in the kitchen, but not without her protesting that I do it... sometimes he wins, sometimes she does. And then there are those times that she *gasp* doesn't get a bath and goes to bed having just been quickly wiped down with a wet cloth. We quickly eat, not leaving much time for small talk in between bites, so we can finish bathing and homework after if necessary. The dishes are then piled into the sink and left there *gasp again!* until the next day. Insert "quality time for all" here; sometimes with a book, sometimes with a family movie, occasionally with a walk, maybe we'll run errands... there are nights when we're all so spent from the day that we need a bit of alone time and go to our seperate corners of the house. I'll collapse into my chair and knit or catch up on my various web sites, Hubby'll take over the TV, the Small Boy will retreat to his playroom where his Legos are waiting for him, and the Little Bird will meander about the house with a baby doll tucked under her arm and a blanket in tow. So much for quality time. Our bedtime routine is a very simple one; hugs and kisses, up the stairs, and plopped into bed without much ceremony. A hush falls over the house... Now I'm sure this is where you all think I begin talking care of my home. Well, not exactly. After working a nine hour day(7:00 am - 4:00 pm on my feet chasing a classroom full of "my other kids") and then coming home to the whirlwind of "quality family time" I'm pooped. Sometimes Hubby or I will toss in a load or two of laundry, maybe start the dishwasher, but usually we just sit. Watch a bit of TV? Or a Movie? Zone out in front of George(my computer)? Lull myself with the rhythmic clicking of my knitting needles? Take your pick.
Does this make me a bad housekeeper? A lazy mom? A terrible wife? Do I care? Nope... I'll sacrifice the clean house and perfect appearance for a bit of sanity, thank you.
Now I'm not a complete bum... I do bake for my family(muffins for an on-the-run breakfast every morning, the occasional dessert treat, and we always have homemade cake on birthdays! Always!). My children both have lots of hand made goodness... sweaters, socks, quilts, clothes. I do a lot of crafting to keep myself sane(see my crafting blog Crafty Nerd), but most of it goes to them. And on weekends we clean when we're home(sports, out of town family visits, fun local events; I'm a homebody but I want my kids to get out and see at least a bit of the world and not be couch potatoes).
So to all you mom's that "have it all together" - good for you! I'm not much on appearances myself. I don't have it all together and I'm OK with that. I have a messy house, happy kids, fun adventures, and a good life... most of the time. Besides, no one really ever "has it all." If they claim to... they're lying.

=D

RAK!

2008-10-01T17:59:00.002-05:00

I received my first RAK(Random Act of Kindness) today! A wonderful looking recipe for Hot Chocolate. I can't wait to try it!

Minty Hot Mocha
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 unsweetened cocoa
1 cup water
2 tablespoons instant coffee granules (i.e. Suisse Mocha)
3/4 cup skim milk
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract

Combine sugar and cocoa in a medium saucepan; stir well. Add water; bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Stir in coffee granules. Gradually add milk, stirring well. Cook over medium heat for 5 minutes, or until mixture is thoroughly heated, stirring frequently. Remove from heat; stir in peppermint. Beat with a whisk until foamy; serve warm.

Let me know what you think if you try it!

Thank you to LilChickadee from Ravelry!

Winter's A-Comin'

2008-09-14T16:24:00.002-05:00

Yep, and I've been preparing... Feeling a bit like a squirrel, running about in sixteen different directions getting my shit together... But, in my defense it's not just winter pulling me all over the place. It's everything that happens during winter really.

Most people do a thorough spring cleaning. Well, I've always been a bit backwards, why should this be any different. I like to clean and hoe out my house at the end of summer. To me it just makes more sense... I'm about to seal up the house to keep the cold out; no more breezes blowing through my windows to refresh things. Of course I want one last good opening up and tossing out! All the cobwebs(yes I have cobwebs) and dust bunnies(a whole den of 'em!) and just general junk and clutter that's collected while we were busy enjoying the beautiful spring and summer weather. Seems like we hardly spent much time here, just flashes in and out of the house in between work, day camp, weekend trips, beach trips, field trips with daycare to the zoo and the library... Yea, we aren't home much when it's nice out... Too much to do and see... So now I'm cleaning it all up. We aren't slobs living in squalor, but I do tend to let a few things slide if it means that I can spend a little more time doing something I enjoy (like the time I blew off cleaning the kitchen for a day at the beach with my family... tough decision there folks... do you blame me?).

It's also the beginning of the school year. While the kids have adjusted nicely to their new schedules (the Small Boy is now in the 3rd grade and loving it and the Little Bird is attending preschool at the best home childcare in the area!) I'm still struggling to get things going in my own classroom. My class this year is fantastic! I am super psyched to have them! But it is taking them a bit longer to get into the swing of things... By the end of the week their attention span is toast, which can make for a long day. Nobody likes a long Friday. And, like any teacher I'm sure, there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done... Curriculum planning, supply gathering, time without the kids in my classroom for organizing, cleaning, etc... Maybe I'm still adjusting too.

And let's not forget the upcoming holidays; Halloween(we need costumes!), Thanksgiving(dinner at my place, WOOT!), and Christmas(more dinner at my place... umm... woot again?).

The Small Boy told me he'd like to dress and Indiana Jones... easy enough. The Little Bird is another story seeing how her speech still isn't up to spec(we're having an evaluation on Tuesday!). I'll most likey think of something cute for her... Any suggestions? Feel free to leave me a comment! There are pictures of her smattered across the blog!

I'm psyched to be hosting Turkey Day here this year. It just so happens that Hubby's birthday is right near Thanksgiving and I can surprise him with a cake (no I didn't just ruin the surprise, he never checks my blog... I don't think he even knows the address...). I've invited my Mom, sister and her family, and maybe my father-in-law(no linky for him... sorry). I asked my brother and his family to join us, but they'll be back in Texas by then. I think everyone else has plans already...

And for Christmas... it's still a bit off, but I'm trying to organize a swap within my family. Money's rather tight and in an effort to simplify and keep things inexpensive I sent out emails to all the important people suggesting we draw names and just buy one nice gift rather than several little gifts. The drawing doesn't include any of the kids, just the adults. Who are we kidding, the kids are fun to shop for and the holidays are all about them anyway...

So now I'm off to clone myself so I can get it all done... oh yea, one more tidbit I forgot to mention... I'm getting a second night job in an effort to loosen the checkbook. Yea, what little free time I had... *POOF*

Oh well... Soon to be the season for merry making... right? =D

Back to School!

2008-08-31T08:54:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year again... Back to school, and this year he's going back with style and attitude...

This was totally unprompted... and I've noticed a few changes in my Small Boy. He's now voicing his opinion about wardrobe choices and insisting on growing his hair out. Neither bother me a bit, he has pretty good taste and I love, love, love his hair. We even put red in it! He's losing those child qualities; trading them in for adolescent traits. Sometimes I see the "pukey boy" come out, attitude and all. But I also see more of the responsible boy. He's growing into quite the kid... =D I can't wait to see what kind of adult he'll be!

As for the Little Bird... she's not going back to school, still just in preschool and will be for another few years. But when she saw me photographing her brother she felt the need to be included too... and who am I to argue...

It amazes me how much she resembles me.

As a child I didn't have much self worth and suffered from low self esteem. Looking at my daughter I'm struck by just how gorgeous she is! And it occurs to me that I must have been equally as beautiful. It's too bad I never realized my worth until I was much older(like adulthood older). I don't have a big head or anything, but I'm always telling people that there's nothing wrong with knowing your worth. If I'm successful in any of my parenting endeavors, I do hope that I am able to instill this into both my children.

Jeeze... what was supposed to be a quickie turned into a "deep thought"... lol... Happy Labor Day All!

I have great friends...

2008-08-13T16:45:00.001-05:00

I received this in an email today from a friend:

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."

Thanks Essie.

A Day at the Beach

2008-07-27T09:25:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, on a complete whim, we packed the kids into the car and headed off to the beach. We spent the day playing, splashing, digging, chasing, and I even got two rows of knitting in... Here are a few pictures.

Who's protecting who here?

It's cold!!!

Every kid needs a bucket and shovel!

While it wasn't her first time at the ocean, it was the first time she really got into playing in the water... and that took a bit of warming up to...

He, on the other hand, loved every minute of it!

He, on the other hand, loved every minute of it!

All in all it was a great day and I can't wait to do it again! *sigh*

From an email I recieved today...

2008-06-26T18:04:00.001-05:00

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pick up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside, playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times,we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found
them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, ! problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

Now I was born in the late 70's... but a lot of this is how it was for me growing up. How I wish my children could experience the freedom I had as a child... Damn those that have robbed our children of that.

Flaggle, Blaggle, Kababble...

2008-06-08T10:04:00.005-05:00

Yea, that's how I'm feeling as of late... I'm having another productive weekend, which is always good. Cleaning, organizing, and worrying... We've had a fairly large family upheaval this week. Nothing like the norm and it doesn't directly involve the four of us(so I won't dive into details), but the effect of it all has definitely been big... The only thing that can help and heal this is time... which always seems to slow down to a crawl at times like this. I hope we all can pull through this unscathed, safe and sound, and happy...

The littles are really frustrating me today... Mr. Man has recently gotten into the habit of helping himself to whatever he wants whenever he wants to... He's taken my cell phone(and downloaded about $150 worth of games to play), hubby's cell phone(same thing), items from our bedroom... I feel he has lost respect for other's personal property. *side note - I'm seeing he doesn't really take such good care of his things either...* BTW, he's eight. I've tried time outs and talking to him and taking his own things away from him, as well as loss of privileges... And my wonderful childcare provider is in on helping me too. She talks to him while he's there before and after school about respect and trust, works with him and has even offered to enforce a loss of privileges while he's there. I don't believe in corporal punishment. I'm at my wits end... He sneaks out of bed at night to do this... am I supposed to lock him in his room or something!?!? FYI... I don't think I could really ever do such a thing... I can't sit there and watch his every move, I'd never get the laundry and dishes done... not to mention the quality hubby time and quiet time that all us parents crave after the kids go to bed. Today, as a result of last night's raid of my bedroom, he's spending the entire day helping me with chores around the house... and more than just his usual ones. We're skipping the trip to the library we talked about, as well as a surprise trip to the lake I had planned. I just don't know how to get this through to him...

Birdie is a typical two year old... nothing to really complain about, just everyday frustrations. I pick up the living room just in time for her to come crashing through and pull it all apart... I make a meal and she refuses to eat it for some reason only known to herself. And the tantrums... how I wish she could talk better... she get's so frustrated (probably as frustrated as I do sometimes).

Now I'm sure some will think this is just awful. Here I have two beautiful, wonderful kids and I'm bitching about them. Never fear, I am well aware how lucky I am to have such treasures. But I am also a realist... nothing is all sunshine and roses... not life... not parenthood... not my kids... not even my blog...

Catch Up...

2008-05-31T11:53:00.002-05:00

I just love days like today... I've been so friggin productive it's insane! And it's only lunch time! As I sit here with my bowl of Annie's Mac (an effort to eat better? Not going organic or anything, just less crap food, more good for you stuff... yet still quick and easy) I'm thinking of all the times I thought... I should blog this! (a quiet evening), Should I blog this? (recent events with Hubby's recovery), and I can't wait to blog this! (home life has been pure bliss for the past two weeks). Rather than try to cram it all onto the screen now (and most likely lose some of the good bits in the process) I'll just run with the here and now...

I've updated my craft blog; reorganized the sidebar and such... it needed it. I also finally finished my son's room... (remember my daughter's?). Sadly, I haven't been taking many pictures lately... so there aren't any of the finished room. Trust me when I say it's definitely cool though...

I'm sad that for some reason I haven't been snap happy with my camera lately... I can't quite put my finger on why... I know I shelved The 365 Project and I know why...but one would think that since things have settled down I would be right back at it. Yet, my camera sits there, staring at me. Like the blogging, I often find myself thinking... I should get a picture of that! or I should bring my camera with me! or I should have brought my camera! But no... for some unknown reason I just let it sit... *sigh* To all of my flickr pals: I apologize for my lack of enthusiasm as of late... I have been surfing your streams to see what you're up to, even if it has been quietly...

The family is good... my sister and brother both just quietly celebrated their 29th and 27th birthdays, respectively. Yay for birthdays! My littles are still their usual boisterous selves. The school year is winding down and summer is right around the corner, YAY! I just love, love, LOVE summer! Best time of the year! =)

So now that I've finished my lunch I'm off to be even more productive... Hope you enjoyed my random thoughts!

cute

2008-05-19T06:09:00.003-05:00

Catching up...

2008-04-27T09:15:00.002-05:00

I'm playing catch up with my flickr... while I've been popping on all week to see other's photos, I haven't uploaded any in five days... Been a little busy, a little distracted, and a tad worried... Here's an abbreviated version of the email I sent to my family yesterday, explaining my week...

Tuesday night Hubby came home very late and very  drunk.  He expected me to throw him out on the spot.  I did not.  He asked me if  I was going to divorce him and I told him that I would not discuss it while he  was still drunk (Yay Al-Anon (I've been doing online meeting and while they  aren't my "cup of tea" there are some useful aspects), don't interact with them  while they're still drunk).  He was having himself a pity party and I wasn't  buying into it.  He did say that he hated living like this and wants help.  I  told him, again, that I wouldn't give up until he did.  The next morning I also  added that I would not give him the satisfaction of throwing him out.  That  would be too easy for him... "poor me, my wife threw me out because I'm a drunk  ."  If he wanted this to be over, he needs to leave.  Things were ok, or seemed  so.  He made it through Wednesday and Thursday morning he seemed a bit edgy, but  ok.  I left for work at 11:30.  He had a few projects lined up for himself so he  could keep busy.  When I got home from work I found the house unlocked, his keys  on the table, and his phone on the kitchen counter... no note or any indication  to where he was.  That night I locked the house and car up and slept on the  couch.  I didn't want him to just stroll in drunk and wake the kids, nor did I  want him near my car (for obvious reasons).  But it didn't matter, he didn’t  come home.  The next morning I brought the kids to daycare at 8:00 (when they  asked, I told them he was working) and was home until 11:30.  When I left I  locked the house up, put a note on the door, and his cell on the window sill on the porch.   When I came home they were still there.  I did the same when I took the kids to baseball practice.  On our way home from practice our neighbors (I would  like it noted that I do not associate with these neighbors, at all) happened to  be out on their porch, so I asked them if they had seen him.  They said no.  We  went home and went about our evening quietly.  I turned in around 9:30 (the  couch again).  At about 10:30-10:45 my neighbor had a case of guilt that he felt  the need to unload, so he came knocking on my door.  He was drunk and started  rambling about how it wasn’t right, he didn't feel right lying to me, my  husband should be home with his family...  blah blah blah...  So I went  over there and confronted a very drunk Hubby.  He had been staying there the  entire time.  At first he kept telling me that he wasn't ready to  come home... he just wanted to go and die in the woods.  He would become very  upset (angry, "stop talking about them") when I mentioned the kids.  I finally  told him that if he didn’t come home with me that I would pack his shit and put  it outside, save anything I felt I could sell.  But I would also be making a  call to the PD to report that there was a suicidal man that needed help.  About  30 minutes later we were in our living room... He wouldn't let me touch him;  jumping every time I did.  He insisted sleeping on the couch.  So long as he  slept, I didn't argue.  I set up camp on the floor next to the couch.  When I woke him up this morning at 7:00 he was  still a little buzzed, but I was not about to leave him here alone.  Opening day baseball ceremonies started at 8:15 so I pushed him into the  shower, made him a pot of coffee and some toast and away we went.  We didn't get  much talking done, due to the fact that we were in public, he was still a little  buzzed when we left and I just couldn't stand his attitude... everything was a  joke.  By the time the ceremonies were over he wasn't so jolly.  Being in the  sun when your hung over is no fun.  (punishment)  Now we're home, he's in bed  and will stay there until 2:00 (Baseball game at 3:00 and I'm still not  leaving him alone).  He said that he still wants to be married and still wants  to try to fix things.  He needs to sleep and clear his head before we can have  any big discussions.  At this point I don’t know what we'll do.  He needs help,  more than just rehab.  Part of me believes that if I had not been so persistent  last night he would have eventually off-ed himself.  We're doing things moment  to moment, just getting through right now.  I'm sure you're wondering why I let him stay.  I can't really give  you an answer except for that addiction is a disease (His brain has been  chemically altered by his addiction, scientifically proven... I so wish that you  all had the same information that I have, maybe you'd understand better) and his  mental health is officially in the toilet (I think we may have moved beyond  depression and bipolar disorder).    If it was cancer that was making our lives  so miserable and hard, no one would question my actions.  So, please don't tell  me that I should leave him, or ask me why I continue to let him do this to me.   He is my husband and he is sick.  For better or for worse, until death do us  part.  If you would like updates, let me know.

=)

Now there has been some talking since then, nothing major as he's still feeling like crap (rightfully so, says I). Tuesday we'll go to see our doctor and discuss his meds and whatnot...

Chew Your Cud Somewhere Else!

2008-04-20T13:08:00.002-05:00

*quick rant*

To quote Willy Wonka... "Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most!"

There is nothing worse in this entire universe than chewing gum! There is no way to chew it quietly and you just look awful while you're chewing it... UGH! All I can think of are cattle chewing grass...

*Jumps onto nearby table with fists in the air*

I hereby move to ban chewing gum from the planet... Who's with me!

*cricket, cricket*

*sheepishly steps off the table, head hanging, shoulders slumped*

2008-04-15T18:27:00.003-05:00

Now if I remember correctly, this was set to music and played on the radio... I always used to stop, listen and then ponder...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

A New Nest for the Little Bird

2008-04-13T07:41:00.003-05:00

This year for for their birthdays Hubby and I decided to redo the Little's Bedrooms. We started both yesterday, but only got The Little Bird's Room done Here are a few pictures of the progress and finished room...

First we taped... That would be my Fabulous sister (and partner in crime) Cheese (aka Donna). It actually took us longer to tape in all the stripes than it did to paint them...

Next was the fun part, painting. The trick with stripes is to measure... a lot... and use a level. My house is over 100 years old and the corners aren't all straight due to settling. Once you get the paint on wait a few minutes (paint the next stripe while you wait) and then do a second coat. Then, before the paint is completely dry (within 15 - 20 minutes) peel the tape off. The results...

And then... the finishing touches; new big girl bed (actually her big brother's top bunk, he graciously said she could use it), new curtains, new curtain rods, new matching bed canopy, new switch plates for the outlets and light switches, a few strings of clear lights, and a hand made by me quilt. I actually made the quilt a few Christmases ago (OK, more like five) for my Nana. I thought it only fitting that I put it on her bed now seeing how she was named for Nana. Did she love it???

Yep! And just because she's so stinkin' cute...

With a little luck we'll get The Small Boy's Room done today and I'll have a chance to post those pictures soon...

=D

I got this in an email and wanted to share...

2008-04-01T17:24:00.005-05:00

So I'm not really huge with politics, but I do have my opinions and I do vote. I got this in an email from my sister-in-law and just wanted to share...

Resume

This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available January 2009, and is willing to relocate.

RESUME GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington , DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement
I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.

Records
My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

Military
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .

College
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

WORK EXPERIENCE

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends (including Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas .

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union .

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America .

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Department {'Ministry!') of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Now I am not a supporter of President Bush, at all... But my jaw hit the floor when I read some of this stuff!

GAH!!!

Big Birthday Bash!

2008-03-24T19:14:00.004-05:00

So here's one of those "more pictures than words" posts... We had the Big Birthday Bash this past weekend. Explain? Sure! I have a younger sister and a younger brother. Between the three of us we have five kids; 1 boy and four girls and they all have their birthday's within a three month span. So, rather than have five different parties we just had one big party! Yay us! Feast your eyes...

First, the newest Member of the family... My brother's daughter, Emily. We celebrated her birth.

The Party Table! Each birthday child had their own 6" cake, decorated to their liking...

See!

Everyone Ready? From left to right: The Small Boy turning 8, Baby Swiss(my niece) turning 6, Little Bird turning 2, and The Baby Girl(my niece) celebrating her first!

And it was good! My two littles thoroughly enjoying their cakes!

It was an excellent day! =)

*none of these photos were taken by me... they were borrowed from My Mom, My Sister, and My Sister-in-Law... I was a complete noob and left my memory card at home. Anyway... Thanks Gals!

Quiet Evening

2008-03-08T20:19:00.007-05:00

Life's been pretty good lately, although I'm sure good isn't the right word. Rather, words like peaceful, quiet, content, maybe even bliss would work better. Hubby is still out of work and not going to rehab, but has been sober for over two weeks and is looking for a job, as well as really embracing the AA community(it is a community, isn't it?). A new rehab facility is being built here in town, Webster Place Recovery Center, and while we are pretty sure we can not afford for him to actually check in, they are offering all sorts of opportunities for those in recovery. Meetings every day and various other gatherings, like the "jam session" that Hubby went to last night. He was pretty excited, and it's great that he has found a place that he can be social without the pressure of alcohol. I'm quite happy staying home with my family, yarn, and the occasional movie, but Hubby really likes to get out every once in a while. And this isn't just good for him. While he was out last night I didn't worry and pace the floor as the clock ticked, wondering what condition he'd come home in, if at all. It was great to see him walk through the door with a smile on his face and his guitar on his back. *sigh*

I'm still plucking along with The 365 Project... almost looking forward to day 365. But I guess this is why it's so momentous when someone finishes... I'm still having fun with it, but I'm having a hard time finding the time. Kids are getting more demanding(apparently they do that as they get older... go figure), work is more demanding, and the Hubby during the past few months... It all adds up. But I'm still keeping up! Yay me! I'll leave you with a few of my recent favorites:

Day 217 ~ Valentine's Day no less...

Day 230 ~ The picture is me(the baby), my Father(holding me) and his Father(the "spotter").

Day 233 ~ Tuck me in...

Day 234 ~ Content is a wonderful feeling...

Sick Day... Again...

2008-02-18T13:17:00.002-05:00

But this time it's the Little Bird that's sick. Although it's still that same bug... *shudder* Lot of the same going on here... Just waiting for a bed to open up for Hubby at the Detox and Rehab Center. I, for the life of me, can't understand how and why this is soooooo complicated! He needs help, he's asked for help, his doctor has sent paperwork stating that he needs help(as well as other important stuff like medications and physicals). So while we've determined that he is in need of help(sounding a little redundant here) they are still boinking us all over the place with repeat requests for info(ie: stuff we already sent), telling us one day they're just waiting for a bed to open up and the next day they're waiting on some fax from our Dr's office... GAHHH!!! By the time they're ready to help him... he'll have drunk himself to death! Of course it doesn't help that now it seems that he's given himself the go-ahead to drink when ever he'd like simply because "there's a light at the end of the tunnel." So what that boils down to is this... if he's left alone - he drinks. and not just a little bit. And it's just irritating his other medical issues; heart condition that requires coumadin, depression, bi-polar disorder... Yea, I married a fixer upper. Didn't seem so at the time, and I don't regret it... yet... Honestly, I don't. Somewhere inside there is the man I married and I know he wants out! I am just frustrated I guess...

Sick Day

2008-02-06T11:10:00.000-05:00

The only way I can find the time to actually sit here and blog... during a sick day. I genuinely am sick, caught that nasty stomach bug going through the center... again. UGH! Fortunately it's a quick one, only lasting about 12 hours... So I slept until about 10:30 (unheard of for me! I'm usually up at five am.) Hubby put the small boy on the bus and kept the little bird entertained until she wouldn't hear anymore excuses about my absence and marched right up the stairs and woke me up herself. At least the nausea is gone for the most part. Now I'm left with the clammy ick and seriously sore stomach muscles... I'll take a shower in a bit, that'll help.
I've discovered the best way to keep track of me is through my flickr account, which I've been neglecting lately. *hangs my head in shame* The 365 Project has turned into a daily mini-blog of sorts. After taking so many pictures of myself, I've started making the captions a bigger part of the picture. For instance...

Relief ~ 365 Days, Day 200

The big 2-0-0... And with this momentous day in my 365 I come with confessions... and a light at the end of the tunnel. I am married to an alcoholic. Tonight, we began the process of checking him into rehab. It'll be a bit before he actually leaves but... now we both feel a bit lighter...

and

Yummy Tea... 365 Days, Day 205

I know I haven't been much of a flickr-er lately... Just feeling the need to retreat inward a bit I guess. Lots of much needed and deserved quiet time. Like now, with a warm cup of tea... sigh.

These two pictures aren't exactly fabulous, no matter what way you look at them. Weird coloring, messy hair... rather unflattering actually. But with the titles and comments, it all seems to be appropriate or make sense. I wonder if I'm making any sense...

And yes, as you can see in the above pictures, Hubby is returning to rehab... or at least a ten day detox. He lost his job almost two weeks ago, unrelated to his drinking issues. It's a long story... and I really don't have the energy to type it all out now. In short, he was in a good place when he first came home from rehab last year and we both agree that he needs to get back there...

As always, never a dull moment around here... The Little Bird turned two a week ago. The Small Boy will be turning eight in two and a half weeks... Yay us!

Letter from an Alcoholic

2008-01-17T21:59:00.000-05:00

An Open Letter to My Family
I am an alcoholic. I need help.

Don't allow me to lie to you. If you accept my evasions of the truth, you encourage me to lie. The truth may be painful but try to get at it.

Don't let me outsmart you. This would only allow me to avoid responsibility and would make me lose respect for you at the same time.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And, Don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made stick to it.

Don't let me exploit you or take advantage of you. If you do, you become an accomplice to my evasion of responsibility.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, praise, blame, or argue when I'm drunk or sober. Don't pour out my liquor; it may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't allow your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my drinking. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my sickness worse.

Above all don't run away from reality as I do. Alcoholism, my illness gets worse as my drinking continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. find al anon, whose groups exist to help families of alcoholics.

I need help. from a pastor, doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from a recovered alcoholic who found sobriety in AA and from God. I cannot help myself.

I hate myself, but I love you. Please help me. Signed,
Your Alcoholic

*My husband is an Alcoholic and an Addict... in and out of recovery for a few years now. I found this and felt the need to share.*

Kielbasa and Italian Cheeses Quiche

2008-01-16T21:18:00.000-05:00

Soooo yummy! Wanna make one?

You'll Need:

8oz Kielbasa (I used Lite Polska Kielbasa) cut into small cubes

1 Refrigerated Store Bought Pie Crust

5 Eggs, beaten

1 1/2 C Milk

1/2 C Flour

2 T Butter, melted and cooled to room temp

2 t Italian Seasoning

1 t Salt (I use a sea salt grinder)

1/2 t Pepper (I use a pepper grinder)

1/2 t Garlic Powder

1 C Shredded Italian Cheeses (I used a store bought Mozzarella, Provolone, Romano, Asiago, and Parmesan blend)

Once all is gathered...

Preheat Oven to 350
1. Lightly brown Kielbasa in a small skillet, set aside to cool.
2. Place pie crust into a deep dish pie plate (I actually used my small oval baker) and par bake it in the oven for 15 minutes.
3. Blend eggs, milk, flour, butter, and spices in a large bowl with a wire whisk. Slowly add in cheese.
4. Pour egg mixture into par baked pie crust.
5. Slowly add Kielbasa to the egg mixture in the pie plate.
6. Bake for 35-45 minutes.

Yay me!

Must post more!

2008-01-16T19:45:00.001-05:00

Yes, I am making an attempt to post more often... once or twice a month just doesn't cut it... But it also occurred to me that I don't need to write a novel every time I post... quickies are ok! Hey, they're better than nothing! =)

I just threw together what I'm hoping will be an excellent feast of a weeknight dinner... Kielbasa and Italian Cheese Quiche! Let's just start off with... it smells really good! While I've never been a fan of eggs before... lately they seem to appeal to me, weird. I mean, they used to make me sick... literally. Now all of a sudden, quiche is good, and I had a croissant egg, bacon, and cheese sandwich the other day that actually made me want more... Maybe my taste buds are changing with age. At any rate, if it's any good... I'll post the recipe...

Snow Day Bliss!

2008-01-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

I just love snow days... they're the only good thing about winter. An extra day at home, found time... it's like finding a crisp hundred in your pocket (and worth the same too!). Although I am disappointed to report that I slept most of it away... I got up at the usual time, but once it was determined that I wouldn't be going into work... well, I was back in bed by quarter past six. I never heard the kids get up and they must have woken my hubby... I ended up sleeping until half past eleven! I haven't done that since before I had my soon to be eight year old son! Half of a perfectly good snow day... wasted... GAH!

But, that isn't what prompted me to spend a few moments here at my blog... although updating was already on my list of things to do with the extra day. Here's a good one for you...

My daughter (she'll be 2 at then end of this month) is potty training... every parent's favorite time of toddlerdom... I can't wait until it's over!!! Today I put her down for her nap after lunch time, as usual. A few hours later when I heard her up and about (she still hasn't figured out how to open her door, it's awesome!) I went up to get her only to discover she had taken her diaper off. I didn't say anything... and neither did she. Instead she marched, bare bottomed, down the hall to the bathroom, grabbed a towel off the floor and went back into her bedroom. Once there, she tossed the towel onto the carpet right in front of her kitchen set and proceeded to stomp on it furiously. I... could only laugh. Imagine that, a toddler that cleans up her own accidents! Yea she's a hoot... full of personality and sass. Just see for yourself...

Not only will she not smile for a picture, but she'll steal your camera so you can't take anymore... I can't wait until she's a teenager!

And, not to be outdone... here's an old, but funny one of my son... just for laughs...

My Littles are so wicked cool!

Love Today!

2007-12-24T14:13:00.000-05:00

So... today has been a pretty good day... and we haven't even done our Christmas Eve gift exchange with my in-laws yet. You ever have one of those days where everything just seems... good. So good that you're just left with a happily content feeling... That's today. A lot of it has to do with how crummy things have been lately(funny how that works out). We all knew that this holiday season would be a bit rough due to The Folks passing last August(Nana) and December(Grampa). But there's been an added roughness around here lately... About six months ago my husband was officially diagnosed Bipolar. It's a great combo with addiction, let me tell you. It's also no picnic to treat; we've been trying out various medication cocktails as well as therapy. I know a lot of people would look at my husband differently if they knew this about him, but in my opinion(and I know the important people in my life share the same opinion) the bigger, better, healthier, and tougher man is the one that recognizes and accepts his flaws and does what he can to not necessarily fix them, but (for lack of a better word) embrace them... At any rate, we still have yet to find a cocktail that works well; which results in more than our fair share of crummy days. It's pretty stressful and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, but days like today make all those crummy days worth it...

Gad!

2007-12-08T16:43:00.001-05:00

I spent four straight hours cleaning today! And it was all spent in just three rooms! Anyone that knows me knows that this is a big deal! My hands are raw, itchy, and dry from the cleaning chemicals(I have very sensitive skin; I know, I know, use gloves...), my back hurts from bending and lifting, and I'm generally tired... but my two kids rooms are all hoed out and my bathroom has been scoured! Boy oh boy did they need it! Every year right before Christmas we try to clean out the kids rooms in preparation for the piles(literally!) of stuff they receive from our families; clothes that don't fit but aren't worn out get bagged for donation, so do toys that still work but don't get played with, broken toys get bagged for trash, as do ripped and holey clothes... We moved beds, vacuumed, dusted, organized, and even assembled my son's air hockey table that he got last Christmas(finally had the space for it!) and moved everything that didn't belong to my daughter out of her room(it used to be our spare room that we stored all sorts of stuff in... there was only a little bit left...). And then... the bathroom. One and a half garbage bags full of bath products that we just don't use(most of it was bath sets that I recieved as a gift but couldn't use due to my sensitive skin... the rest was just stuff we had bought wanting to try and then didn't like). I know this is nothing terribly exciting, but yea me... I spent the morning cleaning and now I feel better.

In more exciting news(not much more, but we were pretty jazzed), I gave my daughter her first haircut... Not much, just her bangs... I am just so sick of it being in her face and sometimes stuck to her face with food or snot... eeewww... Anyway, here are the results:

She was so good and sat still while I cut and trimmed... Not bad, eh?

Holi-dazed...

2007-12-05T20:01:00.000-05:00

Holy Crap it's almost Christmas! Life is more than "in full swing" here in Melindaville... Thankfully, we've finished all of our major shopping! Yay us! A few smaller gifts to get, but as far as our families go... we're done!!! Now it's all about planning. Never actually had to plan much before. Someone else always did... dinner, travel arrangements, sleeping arrangements, visiting this family member, having that family member visit us... Oy! It'll be crazy to say the least. But this year is going to be different anyway. Our first real holiday season without my Grandparents has begun... They always used to say that they wouldn't be around forever... I'm discovering that this empty ache never goes away, instead you just learn to live with it. We're doing what we can to make things the same, even though some of us are trying to make subtle changes here and there(and even my own Hubby keeps saying that we should "start our own traditions"). On the one hand I would love to not travel and have a rather quiet day with my Love and Littles. But, on the other foot, it'll be a tough day for all of us and we should be together... even though it won't be even remotely the same. We're all dealing with it in our own ways; some out loud and very dramatically, others suffering quietly on the inside while they put up the big, ridiculously upbeat, and happy face. To each his own. I'm sure we all know what to expect from each other anyway. We'll be OK; plod on through the not so good parts and really relish the excellence of the better bits. So if I don't get back here before it all goes down... Happiness to all during this Holiday Season! From the crazy folk here in New Hampshire...

The Proudest of Mumma Moments

2007-11-09T19:22:00.001-05:00

Quick, while I have the time... Yesterday my soon to be eight year old son did something amazing. After running a few errands I had stopped at the gas station on my way home to fill up. While I was pumping my son started flailing and flapping his arms trying to get my attention from the back seat. He persisted with banging on the window and calling me loud enough for me to hear him through the closed doors and windows. Tired and sore from the day, I exasperatedly yanked the door open. "What?!" I demanded. "Mumma, I need to go say thank you to him," he said excitedly, pointing to the next gas island over. I looked over and saw a Soldier, dressed in his Class A uniform, filling his own gas tank. I stood there for a few seconds, stunned. "Can I?" he asked. "Uhhh, yea. I mean sure, Baby!" I stood back as my small boy unbuckled his seat belt, hopped out of the car, zipped his coat and straightened his winter hat. He checked for cars and proceeded to walk over to the next island. Now, my son is a rather excitable child... If he wants your attention, he'll usually pat your arm and say excuse me repeatedly until you answer him. But not this time. He quietly walked up the the Soldier and just stood there until he was noticed, it took well over a minute. "Oh, hi there buddy..." the Soldier said, looking around a little worriedly, maybe for his parents? My son smiled and said, "I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of our Country." That Soldier had the same look I had had just a few moments ago. "Well uh, thank you very much buddy!" he replied, sounding surprised. He patted my son on the shoulder as he turned to come back to the car. I watched my son climb back into his booster seat and buckle his seatbelt. I looked across to the Soldier, now finished pumping his gas. "You've got a really cute kid there," he said to me. I smiled and said "Thanks!" Then I quickly added before I climbed back into my car, "You know, this was all his doing... I was just as surprised as you." We exchanged smiles and went back to our own lives...

*sigh*

Gearing up for the holidays...

2007-10-29T15:50:00.000-05:00

...and this year... well... anyone that knows me understands why this year just isn't going to be the same. We're all feeling this way. Some are dealing with it better than others, and we're all doing it differently. I'm rather mixed up about it all. I want to do everything the same as we always have, but I know it won't be. It's just not possible. And yes, I know, it's a part of life and I need to make my own traditions and blah de blah de blah... The next two months should be interesting to say the least.

Finally seem to be kicking the Mono once and for all! Yay! Just in time for me to go crazy with holiday stuff! I've gotten two gift orders(crafting for money! Yay!) plus all my regular stuff. I'm finding that I don't actually make a lot of my gifts. Most everyone I know wants gift cards... But I am pretty jazzed about what we got for the littles. For my soon to be eight year old son, a Wii with all the trimmings! And for the almost two year old little miss(she is such a G-I-R-L!), a really nice all wood kitchen set with all sorts of accessories and goodies, and baby doll play set(complete with a porta crib, car seat, stroller, high chair, diaper bag, the works!). First time in a long time we've been able to spoil the kids. That I am genuinely looking forward to.

So now I'm off to clean, crochet, draw baths, and then work from home(monthly newsletters and curriculum). Have fun!

Plucking along...

2007-10-07T20:16:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's about my average speed as of late... being sick is really kicking my ass. Puttering around the house on the weekends, cleaning up in short five or ten minute bursts rather than all at once like I usually do. Of course, I could just be tired because I worked well over 45 hours last week... Over the summer I went to a seminar for work and as a result of that we got a 4000.00 equipment grant for the infant and toddler rooms. The equipment arrived on Monday! What a day! It was like Christmas for the teachers and I! All sorts of nice, shiny, new goodies for the kids to play with! It was very exciting.

The school year has started off with a... hmmm... what word suits how this year has started... a brick wall? My son is ADHD. He is a very loving, sweet, and smart little boy. But doesn't have a shred of impulse control... Look! Something Shiny! That's him! Everyone that spends time getting to know him always comments on what a complete sweetie he is; very affectionate and considerate, not a mean or nasty bone in his body. So for his new second grade teacher to tell me "He's not going to make it to third grade... His behavior is just off the wall... There are other children in this classroom and they deserve an education, I can't be redirecting him(my son) all day long... YOU need to do something" within the first six weeks of school. Yea, I would love to just pull him from the school entirely. I asked her a few questions about what sort of behaviors she was seeing and how she was dealing with them. I hadn't received any notes home about any of this... And after hearing her answers; I was left with the impression that she hadn't even read his 504 plan, never mind actually using it, and had already labeled him a problem child and was ready to just stick him in a corner and trudge through the year around him... Well, not my kid lady! My son deserves the same education that your other students are entitled to and I don't need to do something... WE need to do something. My taxes pay your salary and as his teacher you should be communicating with me, working with me, making suggestions as well as listening to my suggestions....

Fuck... it's going to be a long year...

Screeching Halt!

2007-09-27T12:17:00.001-05:00

Yep, that about sums up this past week. Everything just kinda skidded to a stop. I am sick. Not just a mere cold either. Two weeks ago today I celebrated my new health insurance(first time I've been covered in over ten years!) with a physical. Mentioned to my doctor that I've been feeling a bit run down lately so she decided to order some blood work. Three vials later... I got the test results back on Monday night, and not too soon because by then I was feeling like complete shit. Mono. I need to go right to bed and stay there for about a week... Are you kidding me?!?! I just laughed at the nurse and explained that this was not possible... at all. I did however, cut my hours at work down a bit(leaving an hour or two early, coming in 45 minutes later...). By Thursday(yesterday) I had developed a wonderful cough, similar to that of a sea lion(bark, bark, bark). Back to the doctors... Bronchitis. Lovely... Fortunately, this can be treated with antibiotics and should be gone within a week. And this morning... a tasty little stomach bug. This, I'm sure, will run it's course within a day or two... But seriously... WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

On a brighter note... I pinked my hair... Have a look!

Ta!

William Tell Overture for Moms

2007-09-27T09:14:00.001-05:00

Funny!

One of those days...

2007-09-16T15:38:00.001-05:00

And no... I'm not talking about a shitty day either. Today has been a rather laid-back, relaxing, generally speaking, over-all nice kinda day. The kids and I got up and went to church. My son went and participated in the children's Sunday School program for the first time(we only started going to the Unitarian Universalist Church here a month or two ago; during the summer things are very easy going and kinda quiet so no Sunday School, nice!). He really seemed to enjoy it. And despite my aversion to organized religions, this one really seems like a perfect fit. I was raised Catholic and my husband Christian. While I no longer consider myself a Catholic(haven't now for a long time), Hubby still has some Christian beliefs. The beautiful thing about the UU Church... ALL are accepted. All faiths, races, sexual orientations... everyone is welcome. What a wonderful environment for my children to learn about faith and tolerance! Having not only a blended faith family, but a bi-racial child as well, this is just perfect for us. I really look forward to going every Sunday(and I'm sure that those of you that know me are just gasping in shock... yep... I'm happily going to church!).

Anyway, after the service there was a waffle breakfast(not entirely the norm, but generally afterwards we all gather for coffee and chit-chat... something else I really like.). We ate, chatted with a few new-to-us faces, and then walked the long way home(it was so nice out!). By the time we got home it was Noon! I put the baby down for a nap and my son and I straightened the house up a bit. Half an hour later he had retreated to his new Lego set in his playroom, the baby was still sleeping, and I clicked on iTunes and settled in for some quality yarn time.

I often put my iTunes on Party Shuffle mode and just let it play, occasionally skipping a song or two here and there. Today, I swear, that software knew exactly what I wanted to hear! It sounds silly, I know, but... After about an hour it just occurred to me, I hadn't skipped a single song. Struck me as odd(maybe I'm the odd one here, who knows).

By the time the Little Bird awoke from her nap I had: made a good dent in a swap package I've been working on(see my craft blog, Crafty Nerd, for details), cleaned and straightened the downstairs(with a little help from the Pooh), and even spent some quality time with the Little Man making muffins(and my whole downstairs smells of blueberries now, I love it!).

Unfortunately, now the downstairs is back to it's usual disarray(she woke up...) and the sun is beginning to set. Great Day! Everyone needs a day like this every once in while...

Lookie, lookie!

2007-09-07T23:34:00.000-05:00

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it

What Famous Pinup Are You?

Neat Huh!

Too Funny...

2007-09-05T18:10:00.000-05:00

So there's a little site out there that'll rate your blog as if it were rating a movie... Here's my blog rating...

Mingle² -

Hahahaha!

Finally sitting and blogging...

2007-09-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

I am, have been, insanely exhausted lately. You know how tired you get(at least you would if you've ever been pregnant) during your first trimester of a pregnancy... that's how I feel, and NO... I'm not pregnant. As much as I love my kids and would like to have another one... that just wouldn't be cool right now, at all. And I think I'm coming to the realization that I won't have any more kids, ever. Part of me is happy with just the two. They're a handful as it is and we really can not afford to have another(we're barely making ends meet as it is...). But there's always that small part of me that really loved being pregnant(despite how miserable my last pregnancy was) and is just in awe of the whole process of having a child. Kinda bummed that I'll never do that again. But now that I'm done with that random rant... Yea, I'm exhausted!

I've spent most of my free time(what little I have) flickring and craftstering. No surprises there. I've taken some pretty amazing photos lately, if I do say so myself. I joined the 365 Project on flickr. Simply put; I take do a self portrait everyday for a year. I'm really enjoying it. Not only does it challenge me to get a little creative(taking a picture of the same subject over and over again gets boring otherwise) and force me to become comfortable in front of the camera as well as behind it, but it's also a bit of a self discovery project. I'm seeing sides of myself that I really don't put too much thought into. I have a fairly positive and honest self image. Like most; there are parts of me that need some work and then there are parts of me that are pretty fucking rad, and I'm not just speaking about physical parts either. But the beautiful thing about the pictures I've been taking is that I am forced to really look at all these parts(again, not just the physical, there can be a lot of emotion in a photograph too) and think about them. I sometimes even edit them. No I'm not airbrushing out stretch marks, but altering the mood of the photo with color editing and contrast adjustments. I've even take a few photos that have been requested for the "Feeling Sexy" group(who knew that the anti-girl could do that!). So for right now I'm 62 days in and really enjoying it all(and I've stuck with it! I'm famous for starting something and not finishing...). Feel free to check it out; 365 Days.

The new school year has begun... Second grade for the small boy and the little bird is now spending two days a week at the same home daycare that her brother goes to after school. Changes, changes, changes... Hubby is now working second shift so he gets up and sees to the morning bus duties. I'm now working five days a week again; really didn't see any point in me not and we need the money anyway(don't we always?). And, with Marc's shift change, the kids and I really only see him on the weekends =(. It makes things a bit tense, we never really have time to do all the things that need to be done around here, much less time to actually spend enjoying each other's company as a family. And it's only going to get tighter; soccer starts next weekend. Is this what life is supposed to be like? A mad rush from one thing to the next and no matter how much you work, earn, or get done... there's never enough of anything. I guess that's why I really enjoy just being at home. We found the time to sit and play a board game the other night with the small boy. While it was initiated for his benefit, I think it really did all of us some good.

So I hope everyone has a great Labor Day Weekend; even if your idea of great is attending a huge party or hiding under a rock. I think for me right now, I'll vote for the latter of the two...

Rock on!

ps ~ I spell checked this and found NO spelling mistakes!!! It's the little things that make me happy; I rock! =D

Progress

2007-07-23T18:44:00.000-05:00

Yep, progress. What kind of progress, you say? Lots; where to begin...

Well, Marc invited me to one of his addiction counseling sessions. I was a little leery about going, but the supportive wife took over and I went with a smile on my face and an open mind. I'm glad I did. We discussed a lot and determined that some spiritual healing would be a good addition to not only Marc's recovery, but also the upbringing of our littles. Having been raised a Catholic and not happy with it, I had a few reservations(That's really putting it mildly, I tend to shy away from any organized religion altogether. Faith is a very personal thing for me; not something I feel the need to share or broadcast, and certainly not something I feel I should be told how to express.). After discussing it for a few minutes, I suggested the local Unitarian Church. I've know families that belonged to their local UU and it really sounded kinda nice. They're very "open armed." They welcome all people from all walks of life; all faiths, races, sexual orientations, you name it. And that's a pretty important one for me. A lot of my personal opinions "don't fly" with the catholic or christian churches(for instance; both of my children were conceived out of wedlock, a big no no... and I support keeping abortion legal. I personally could never do it, but I certainly don't feel I have the right to tell someone else what to do with their life and body.). I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to spend an hour a week hiding in the back of the church because I knew that if anyone there knew how I really felt, I'd be scorned. But this was not the case last Sunday morning. It was really quite nice! We were greeted by a few of the other members and welcomed. When my daughter began to make her self known during the service, not less than three other's there told me not to worry about it and boy is she beautiful. We(all attending the service) were invited to participate in the discussion, rather than just sit and listen. And when it ended, everyone gathers for light refreshments and coffee in the church hall. Overall, it really just felt right for us to be there. I honestly felt comfortable in a church(something that hasn't happened in a long time), it seemed to do my husband a world of good(he actually seemed lighter when we left, if that makes any sense), and the small boy left there asking when we'd be going back. It was a good morning...

As you read earlier, the Little Bird is finally talking. Well, she has a few words and a whole lot of loud gibberish. Holy Cow! She's signing more, verbalizing more, and doing her damnedest to get her point across one way or another. A little frustrating at times(those sippy cups hurt when they're thrown at you empty), but encouraging just the same. After the sedated ABR(her ears work just fine, she's just stubborn, said the Dr.) we spent an hour with our regular pediatrician for follow ups and such. By the end of the visit, we determined that speech therapy would not be necessary, she's progressing just fine now... All I can say, I'm in for a world of hurt with this one! The small boy is a handful, but he's just soooo damn sweet. Most of his issues are due to the lack of impulse control(constant chatter, very easily distracted, and not really thinking his actions through before doing them). All I hear from everyone that spends time with him(and I agree) is that he's a very loving, sweet kid; not a mean bone in his body. He's never nasty, evil, or disrespectful, just mischievous. The small girl is definitely going to give me a run for my money. She's an entirely different animal; very head strong, opinionated, and stubborn. All excellent qualities(I know she'll never be pushed around or taken advantage of!), but... Oy!

And I'm gearing up for the madness of August... Canada the first weekend and then the seminar for work(five days away from home and the family... ugh). I'll hardly be home the first half of the month! And, it doesn't help that my husband can't come to Canada with us. I know it bothers him, a lot. We're laying my Grandparents' ashes to rest. They made annual trips to PEI to visit family. It was their favorite place, so it's only fitting that we leave them there. Because the hubby is a convicted felon, no Canada for him. Instead, he'll spend the weekend hanging out with his family. It'll be a long weekend.

We'll return on Monday, only to have the small boy fly out to visit his grandparents on Wednesday. First they'll be in NYC for a few days, and then off to Florida. He really is one of the more well traveled seven year olds I know(he's officially been on a plane more times than I have). I'll miss him while he's gone(he'll be with them for about 10 days) but I know he'll be in excellent hands and having a damn good time. And it makes things easier for the seminar I'm going to .

That following Friday I leave for the Infant and Toddler Seminar. It's held every summer, this'll be my first time attending. Part of me is really excited; it's nice to see a professional gathering. So many people consider preschool teachers to be no more than a glorified babysitter. And, the center I work for will be eligible for an excellent equipment grant! So it'll be well worth it. But, on the other hand, I'm not exactly thrilled about leaving my family for five days(I'll return the following Wednesday). I don't sleep well when I'm not home(not a fantastic sleeper anyway) and the thought of sharing a hotel room with two other women isn't exactly appealing. Unfortunately, I can't commute; part of the seminar rules(trust me, I'd be more than happy to make the hour and a half drive back and forth). And it put me in a bit of a pickle as far as finding someone to come and say with the Little Bird while I'm gone(Hubby works third shift, remember...). My poor mother is going to come up Friday afternoon and stay until Monday morning. She'll go to work(two hours away) and then drive back up for the night. Repeat that again Monday and Tuesday night... four hours a day in the car. Thank You Mumma! Again... Oy!

I'm going to go crochet now...

=)

2007-06-30T11:16:00.000-05:00

So I ran into an old friend at flickr(she found my photos...). After she sent me an update on her life, I sent her mine. I reread it before sending it and felt the need to post it here as well...

Well... to make a long story short... Marcus and I have known each other since 4th grade. We went to HCS together, but he was transferred around the SAU shortly there after. We were friends in high school, and interested in each other but I was seeing someone else(faithful at a golden retriever...). After I graduated and he was expelled we went our separate ways. I had my son, he he married his first wife...
In January of 03, my son was almost three, we ran into each other at H&R Block(he was working there and for some reason I felt the need to have my taxes professionally done, the only year I've ever done that). He was still married, but it was obvious to everyone that the relationship was over. That following June I bought my house and he moved in. We spent the first year of our relationship wondering if we moved things a little too fast... oh well.
Shortly after things settled a bit we started trying to get pregnant. After a few unsuccessful months we went to see a Dr. Poor Marc was afraid I'd leave him when we got the news that he'd never have a child of his own. But I didn't. I really wanted another one and I knew that we had other options if we wanted to. Besides we were happy with the little boy.
In the beginning of 05, after I graduated from college, we decided to get married. In March of that year, my father passed away unexpectedly. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in five years, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. Still is sometimes...
Shortly after I picked out my dress and booked our honeymoon(a Cruise!) we discovered I was pregnant! Needless to say we made a few changes... altered the wedding dress and had to cancel the cruise(they won't let you on the boat after 20 weeks, I would have been 22 weeks), we spent a week in Maine instead and it was perfect...
On October 1, 2005 I became Mrs. Melinda Steele-StCyr, and that was perfect too(pictures on my snapfish, I'll send you a link). Our daughter was born on Janurary 30, 2006. That same day, my Grampa was diagnosed with cancer... Later that summer, in July, my Nana was also diagnosed with cancer. She died shortly after her diagnosis, in August. Four months later, my Grampa also died, right before Christmas. I was there with them both when they died. Part of me died with them.
After all of that things were a bit choppy around here(hmm.. wonder why). Marc started drinking after being sober for over two years(he's an addict and alcholic). It all came to a head when he was arrested in February for DUI(long story... he was found in a parked car with the keys in the ignition, he wasn't driving...). In April of this year he checked in to rehab. It was a long six weeks, be we survived. He's been home, clean, and sober since March 17. He attends meetings at least four times a week and life is good again. A little stressful at times; we hardly get any time together... he works 3rd shift. But the money is good and I'll finally have real heath insurance(haven't had it in over ten years!). And we'll need it for the lawyer we just hired for his upcoming trial in September...
Now, the small boy child is entering the second grade and doing great! He was diagnosed with ADHD and Hypoglycemia so I have to keep an eye on him, his diet, and his weight(he's still really little, only 42 lbs). He goes to the summer rec program here and loves it!
The Little Bird is also doing well. She had a series of ear infections that resulted in tubes. Unfortunately she still isn't talking yet, just babble. She's failed two hearing test, so on Monday we go to a specialist to have a sedated ABR(hearing test that doesn't require her participation. They go straight to the brain stem for results; it's non-invasive though...) From there it'll be speech therapy, but we're not sure what kind yet. We need to know if there is hearing loss before that can be determined.
And I'm still... me... Still crafting(as you can see from my pictures on flickr), still crazy(going later today for my 5th & 6th tattoos, birthday present from my sister!), and still teaching. I'm the director and preschool teacher at a small privately owned daycare center. I love my job, most days. I love my Hubby; despite everything he really is my perfect match(I'm no picnic to live with either, I don't know how he does it!). My littles are awesome; I've got two good ones so I'm not going to push it and try for a third... goodness knows what I'll end up with! I still smoke, don't drink, and still know how to make a sailor blush with mere words...
So much for making a long story short...
=)

oooof! After rereading this yet again, a mix of feelings wash over me. Part of me feels that I could, no should have elaborate more on certain things. And all of the usual old feelings creep in, loss, sadness, anger... but also happiness and pride. If we can survive this, what else are we capable of?

GAH!

2007-06-09T19:52:00.001-05:00

So, as usual, I've been burning the candle at all three ends(didn't know that was possible now did ya!)...
First and foremost, The Hubby came home a little over three weeks ago sober, happy, and about 25 pounds heavier(anyone that knows my husband, knows that this is a good thing!). It's nice to have him back. He's committed to his sobriety; going to meetings regularly and seeing his counselor every two weeks. Plus he now has a new job! No more Autozone hell! Now it's third shift... I'm not sure which was worst... I shouldn't say that. This new job is much better; better pay, better bennies, consistent scheduling... It's just the shift that sucks, but he likes it so... But between the new job schedule and the meetings at least every other day, time is very, very, very tight. And I'm now working five days in stead of four, adding to the tightness. Let's put it this way: if time were a pair of jeans... there's no way my fat ass would fit into them. Needless to say, adding a bit of stress to daily life here in the land of Melinda.
My son had his last baseball game today(yea!). The season doesn't officially end until two weeks from today at the closing ceremonies. This was his first year without the baseball T and he did pretty good! He was the smallest kid(but certainly not the youngest) on the team by far. He had a really great coach this year, we want to request him for next year he was so good. It was a lot of fun and I took a few million pictures... Feel free to take a trip on over to my flickr and check em out.
Speaking of pictures... I got a new camera! Yay Mumma! My Mother gave me my birthday present early... a brandy new Canon Digital Rebel XT. *swoon* I've been taking pictures everywhere! And, as a result, flickring my brains out! I've recently added pictures from a cruise that we all took before Hubby and I got married. As well as some pictures of my Nana and Grampa...
As for The Little Bird? She's still not passing her hearing test... We go for a sedated ABR at the end of this month. She officially has one word(Mumma, yay me!) and a lot of babble, but that's it. I'm also going to start investigating speech therapy. Putting that aside, she's doing great. Both of my Littles are. We all are....

Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-14T18:47:00.000-05:00

Yea, I meant to post this yesterday... life got in the way. Putting that aside, I had the most wonderful Mother's Day! It was simply perfect! The littles and I spent the day together at the New Hampshire Sheep and Wool Festival and it couldn't have been a better day! The weather was just right, the kids were both in great moods and eagerly took in all the sights the festival had to offer... perfect I tell you, pure bliss!

Here is just a sample of the pictures I took!

Yummy homespun and hand dyed yarns and rovings!

Fantastic hand made crafts beautifully displayed!

I couldn't resist these pictures! Isn't she just beautiful! And the lambs are so cute!

And, of course, my littles... We just had to sample one of the incredibly large chocolate chip cookies. And later, during the raffle drawing(I won some beautiful roving, pictured in my flickr) he got to help draw names and hand out prizes!

We can't wait for next year!!! To all the Moms out there; I hope your day was as great as mine!

It's Just So Quiet...

2007-05-06T09:24:00.000-05:00

Right now it's just me and my daughter. Hubby is still in rehab and my son is off with his Papa(my mother's recent ex - they were together for all of my sons life and have a pretty good relationship...) for the day. So, aside from my daughter's occasional baby chatter(she's babbling more now! Yay!) the house is "Cricket Quiet"(so quiet you could hear the crickets). Kinda nice.
I really should be paying the bills now, I'll head over there after I'm finished here. And then back to the Craftster Swap Boards...
Things are running smoothly. Hubby comes home in less than two weeks and he's doing really well. Yesterday when I went to visit we had a chat with his councilor. She's really nice, and just what he needs. I'm just sorry he won't be able to see her after he leaves there. But she agreed that he's doing well and things should go smoothly when he comes home. I expressed my concerns about the transition from there to home. There's no stress there! No needy kids, no bills to pay, no job to go to, no house to keep up, no dinner to put on the table... Both the councilor and hubby assured me that he had learned new coping mechanisms. Wonderful, reading the instructions and then actually building the motor are two different things. I'll be interesting to see how he does in the real world. I just hope it all works out. I made it clear that I couldn't do this again. Being a single parent of two kids isn't as difficult as I thought it would be, but getting into this routine while waiting is. I can do this alone, I don't want to, but I can. What I can't do again is play with patient, understanding wife that holds it all together while he's gone.
Despite all my ranting and raving, I really am looking forward to him coming home. I miss him terribly. The visits are OK, but we aren't allowed to touch... at all... I can't sit next to him while he puts his arm over my shoulders. Forget about cuddling. Just a peck and a hug on the way in and the same on the way out. I can understand not being allowed to disappear into his bedroom for a while, but this is a bit extreme. Not all physical contact is sexual. A lot of it is comforting! But I guess there are some that can't be trusted... Damn the irresponsible ones for ruining it for the rest of us!
While I was there we talked about moving again. Seems that we really kinda want to stay in this area; somewhere between here and where we grew up(about a half an hour north of here). I've got a fairly decent job, doctors that we love, family near by, we've carved ourselves quite the little niche here. But we definitely need to sell this house and get something with a yard and more square footage. And hubby wants a new job, and I'm all for it!

The future is looking a bit brighter...

Good Grief!

2007-04-25T21:03:00.000-05:00

I got a new computer! Yay for Dell! Now that I'm no longer using a s-l-o-w computer, I'll hopefully blog more often. And with a little luck, I'll have some thing other than bitching to type about...

So I took my son to his first counseling appointment... didn't go so well... First off, she's a behavior therapist. He's not in need of a psychotherapist, just some behavior modifications, it's the ADHD really. We just need a little help with his lack of impulse control. Well, let's just say that she and I didn't get off on the "right foot." The session began with her asking both my son and I questions, only I couldn't tell which one of us she was asking... minor thing, no biggie. While she's asking and I'm answering, my son interrupts(as children often do). Rather than tell my son that we're talking and could he please wait, she devotes total attention to him and I stop answering her question. Fine, it's his appointment and she needs to interact with him; that's cool. But, when she turns back to me and I start to finish answering the question, she fires a new question at me... Still doing OK though. Taking it all in stride, I'm good. After about 15 minutes James excuses himself to go to the bathroom. She takes this opportunity to ask me questions about my son's absent father. At this point she knows that my husband is not my son's biological father. She asks if we see him. I reply no. She asks if I know who his father is... My jaw drops... WHAT! I mean seriously!!! Who the fuck asks that!!! When I reply, umm yes, obviously shocked that she felt it necessary to ask, she just shrugs and then asks if we were in a relationship... Apparently I seem like the type of person that would take a stranger home, fuck him without knowing his name and be stupid enough to not use birth control? Now I really wanted to let this woman have it, reallllly baddddly... but I held it together. This appointment is not for me(reminded myself), must keep my son's best interests in mind and not strangle the behavior therapist for so boldly insulting me(similar to a slap in the face). So I swallowed my tongue, played nice, answered her questions(all were comparatively mild after that), scheduled our next appointment and left. I can't wait to go back...
My hubby is doing well. Kinda sick of the question really. This is going to sound horrible, but on some levels, I'm jealous of him. He's off spending a month(little more actually) working on his issues, totally focusing on himself and getting to where he needs to be. And in so many ways I applaud him for it! It has taken a lot for him to get here(a whole lot, trust me!) and I really can't describe what a wonderful feeling it is to know that he's willingly getting the help he needs and putting his entire being into repairing himself. But in the same respect, I would love to be able to spend that kind of time on myself in a similar manner. Granted I don't have an addiction to deal with, but I've got bits and pieces that could use some work. But, my much needed work will have to wait. Right now, I'm here... holding it all together. I often wonder... what would happen... if that thin thread that I'm using to tie it all up with... suddenly... snapped...
Am I a horrible person for wondering when I'll get my turn to fall apart and let someone else clean up the mess?

Yay!

2007-04-24T22:05:00.000-05:00

I've gone and upgraded George. Yep... I've been saying it all night... Dude, I got a Dell! I replaced my four year old Dell(George I) with a brand spankin' new Dell(George II). Yay me! I've still got my laptop that travels with me(George Jr.).

Just had a realization here... I sound like George Forman(all those Georges!). I suppose I should explain the whole George thing... It's very simple really. I spend a lot of time in front of the computer. It's my version of TV. Well, hubby sometimes gets a bit jealous and referred to my computer as "the other man." So... I named him... Meet George!

Five Minutes

2007-04-22T10:46:00.001-05:00

Just a quickie post...

Click this link that I found at Craftster... http://www.shaneswish.com/. It's real; not a spoof! It'll only take you five minutes. And pass the word along, to everyone that you can think of! Print it out and hang it at work, email a link to everyone in your address book. It's such a simple thing, everyone should be able to do this...

Bring it on 30!

2007-04-16T13:00:00.000-05:00

So, let me just start by saying that being 29 has been less than fantastic. During this 29th year of my life I have buried my father(He passed March 03, 2005 but, to make a long story short, it took some time to get his ashes and make his final arrangements. We were not close at all, and I think that it made it harder to deal with it.), watched Cancer destroy both my Nana and my Grampa(Nana died on August 8, 2006 and Grampa died on December 20, 2006. I was very close to both of them). And I have been an unwilling participant in my husbands battle with alcoholism, resulting with him checking into a rehab program a week ago today. And this is only the big stuff, never mind the everyday, mundane issues that accompany life and raising children; my son's ADHD(councilors, medications, behaviour issues in school...), my daughter's ears(tubes and hearing tests, oh what fun!), finances(keep in mind that hubby isn't working, it's just my pitiful paycheck...). Being 29 SUCKS! I am so ready for 30(how many 29 year old's do you hear say that...).

There are so many random thoughts floating around my head right now...

When I tell people that my husband is in rehab they immediately look at me as if I'm going to follow with "and I'll be filing for divorce next week." Well, I'm not. And once I make that clear, obviously, there's something wrong with me. I'm just a pathetic door mat with no self esteem and no regard for my children's well being, right? So tell me, if your spouse told you they had cancer, or HIV, and they were going to receive the necessary treatment so they can lead a normal life, would you divorce them? Keep in mind that there is no cure for this disease they have, just ways to manage it day to day. Does that make them unworthy or undeserving of love, of having a family, of having a healthy life? I've said this a few times; "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health..." I meant what I said. Marriage takes work and too many times people just cut and run, not willing to invest the blood, sweat, and tears.

Given that my husband is not bringing any income into the household, I went and applied for assistance at my local DHHS office, just as a means to get by until he comes home(by early June at this point). Now, when we found out that he'd be going to rehab, we were smart and planned ahead. We set aside some money to pay the bill that we'll receive(rehab isn't free!) with our tax return. Now I considered taking this money out of our bank account and hiding it, but decided against it; honesty is the best policy, right? WRONG! Because I have this money in my bank account, my application was denied. Honesty and playing it smart aren't the way to go through life I guess. Maybe I should just quit my job, stay at home and let welfare pay all my bills; because if I were staying home with my daughter and not working, I would qualify for all sorts of help. But because I'm working(and please remember that I am a professional, not just flipping burgers. I have an AS in ECHD, I am a preschool teacher and director at a small center. As any mom knows, I work as many hours as my family will allow, outside of doctors appointments, dentists appointments, and other family related commitments.) and honest, I get no help when I need it the most... Seem fair?

July 5, 2007 can't come fast enough!!!!!

PS I just can't express how today's news has effected me. At this moment, the death toll for the shootings at Virginia Tech is at 31. I just can't fathom...

Homelife...

Mobile Blogging

Is there no happy medium?

Laundry

It hurts...

Progress

Whoo Boy!

Saturday Quiets

Will we make it?

Stretch Yawn Sigh

Grrrr

Not a resolution...

Bad Parent?

JDRF Walk!

New Life

Moved!

Spam...

Life Strikes Again

Quick, before I forget!

Almost a month...

More Comfort... Tweaked Of Course

Oh The Wonderfulness Of Comfort Food

Rainy Saturday

Food for thought

I will not feel guilty for not blogging...

Awe...

Morning Bits

Amazing Pork Chops!

It's a sickness!

Small Boy!

Yay for being a SAHM!!!

I QUIT!

We Walked the Walk!

Juvinile Diabetes Research Foundation Walk

Here's one I'd like to save

Jam!

Can't sleep...

Less is More!

Sunday Lazies

Quiet Evening

*sigh*

On the eve of my 32nd birthday...

I found twenty mintues...

Monthly blog post?

Increasingly Busy

Neglect...

Tax Season!

It's been a while...

Yummy!

Mistake?

The Holiday's are changing....

In a better mood...

*Warning, Warning*

Adventures during our Saturday morning chores...

A little magic...

I am going to regret this later...

Day in the life?

RAK!

Winter's A-Comin'

Back to School!

I have great friends...

A Day at the Beach

From an email I recieved today...

Flaggle, Blaggle, Kababble...

Catch Up...

cute

Catching up...

Chew Your Cud Somewhere Else!

A New Nest for the Little Bird

I got this in an email and wanted to share...

Big Birthday Bash!

Quiet Evening

Sick Day... Again...

Sick Day

Letter from an Alcoholic

Kielbasa and Italian Cheeses Quiche

Must post more!

Snow Day Bliss!

Love Today!

Gad!

sigh

Warning, Warning